Husband, excited at seeing a washed up, dead whale: Carla? Do you remember how excited you were when you saw that deer? Well, wait ’til you see this!
–Fernandina Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Katred
Formerly smiling lifeguard: Great, I’ve got bird shit on me, and we have to listen to John Mayer!
–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina
- Posted on
- Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Lifeguards, Music, North Carolina, Poop, Sensory Experiences
Tourist woman: You know, I heard this island is completely surrounded by water all the way around!
–Coco Cay, Bahamas
Overheard by: Shelley
Middle-aged guy #1: I’m gettin’ old, buddy.
Middle-aged guy #2: We’re all gettin’ old.
Middle-aged guy #1: Yeah, but first I was just gettin’ too tired to have sex, so I was jerkin’ off a lot. Now I’m too tired to even jerk off.
Middle-aged guy #2: Shut up. You’re getting me depressed.
–Boardwalk, Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Tween in one-piece: Amber’s parents let her wear a bikini.
Dad: But her parents love her.
Teen brother: No, they don’t. She’s just a 10-year-old slut.
–Lake Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canadia
Overheard by: Jenny
- Posted on
- Age and ageing, Bathing suits, Canadia, Comebacks, Dads, Default, Gripes, Insults, Tweens
Girl: So, when Daddy said that his girlfriend was coming to stay the night it was a bad thing?
Mother: Yes, dear.
Girl: Does this mean I get two Christmases and two birthdays, like Ashlee?
–Parua Bay, New Zealand
Overheard by: naughtygurl
- Posted on
- Break-ups, Default, Family, Girls, Moms, New Zealand, Questions, Three is company
Daughter: Sorry I’m late.
Mom: That’s okay. We were playing ‘Tourist or not?’ with the passersby. Look — those two — obviously tourists.
Daughter: Oh, kinda like when I play ‘Jew or not?’ when I get bored.
–Ipanema, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Overheard by: Jew tourist
Tanned girl: That’s not tanning lotion. That’s brown paint.
Pale girl: Well, it cost me $80 so it better get me your color. Besides, it says Tahitian women have been using it for years!
Tanned girl: Yeah, and Tahitian women have been having syphilis for years, too.
–Sporting Beach Club, Beirut, Lebanon
Overheard by: Nicolien
- Posted on
- Comebacks, Geography, Girls, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Idiots, Middle East, Money, Time
Frat guy #1: So he was dating her for a whole month before he realized she was a tranny. Even had sex with her twice, no clue.
Frat guy #2: There's no way he didn't know!
Frat guy #1: Well, he was drunk. And you went out with her before he did, so who are you to talk?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: The WC
- Posted on
- Frat boys, Homosexuality, Maryland, Relationships, Sex, Stupidity
