B&B owner to guests: Do you two have children?
Female guest: Oh no, not yet. That’s why we are here!
B&B owner (blushing) walking away: Oh! Well, I’m glad we could help!
Guest (softly, mortified): I meant we have more time without kids!
–Bed & Breakfast, Galveston Island, Texas
Guy to date: Careful, you're about to spill that soda on yourself.
Girl: Yeah. Well hey, what's one more liquid splashed all over my body today?
Guy: Uh… What?
Girl: Oh. Uh… what?
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: tner
Teenybopper #1: Ew, I hate wide open spaces.
Teenybopper #2: Isn’t there a word for that?
Teenybopper #1: Yeah, I think it’s some kind of phobia or something.
–Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: MarilynMonBRO
- Posted on November 12, 2023
- Bimbettes, California, Stupidity
Dude: I don’t have an STD… But I want one!
–Panama City Beach, Florida
Overheard by: katie
Tourist: Excuse me, are we at the right beach?
Local: Umm…
Tourist: We want to go to the beach where you can see the Golden Gate Bridge.
Local: It’s right there.
Tourist: Where?
Local: Why am I talking to you again?
–San Francisco, California
Woman #1: Now you see that dude right there? That one in the green swim trunks.
Woman #2: Okaaaaay, yeah, I see him. The one with the red hair that's skimboarding?
Woman #1: Yeah, him. Now, I would so hook up with him. Look at those abs. Don't you just wanna run your hands all over him?
Girl slathered in tanning oil, staring at them: That's my boyfriend.
Woman #2: Oh. How long have you guys been going out?
Girl: Four months. What's it to you?
Woman #1: Just weighing our chances.
Girl: Chances of what?
Woman #2: Sleeping with him.
(girl makes disgusted noise and walks away).
Woman #2: Don' t worry, Shar. She's hideous. We'll follow them when they leave and the next time they go to a club or something, we'll hunt him down and get what we want.
Woman #1: We always do. Wait…which one of us gets to sleep with him? (they glance at each other, saying nothing) I've got a bigger rack.
–Pismo Beach, California
Overheard by: Matilda
- Posted on November 9, 2023
- Body parts, California, Compare and contrast, Girls, Physical Appearance, Questions, Rack, Sex, Time, Weirdness, Wishes, Women
Mom to young son: You lost all your privileges when you peed in your pants.
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Scott
- Posted on November 9, 2023
- California, Clothes, Moms, Pee, Time
Teen: You guys went to bed at 11:30, what's wrong with you?
–Beach Lake, Pennsylvania
- Posted on November 7, 2023
- Gripes, Insults, Pennsylvania, Questions, Teens
Guy holding up little wooden container: We could get this for Bill.
Girl: Oh! For his pot!
Guy, looking over girl’s shoulder at elderly woman behind her: … Or stuff.
–Labadee, Haiti
- Posted on November 6, 2023
- Central America, Drugs, Girls, Guys, Words
Papi #1: Oh, he’s so nice! You know, he’s 36, but he doesn’t look any older than 34!
Papi #2: That’s hot.
Translated from the Spanish
–Miami Beach, Florida
- Posted on November 5, 2023
- Age and ageing, Compliments, Florida, Gays & Lesbians, Physical Appearance
