Guy #1: So step one is where she's peeing and he comes in to pee and she spreads her legs far to open up a space into the toilet and he pees in that space. Guy #2 no, step one is where she's really drunk and he's really drunk and she's in the bathroom peeing and he barges in to pee too and she doesn't freak out.
Guy #1: Oh yeah, that makes more sense. There's a progression.
Guy #2: So then what you said first is step two and then step three is where they're both drunk and she's peeing and he walks in the bathroom and not only does she not freak out, but she allows him to dip his hand in her stream of urine.
Girl: What the fuck? Why would he do that?
Guy #1: That's just how he rolls. But you see the progression, right? And the whole point is that if she doesn't freak out, she's a keeper.
–Tybee Island, GA
Overheard by: Can't concentrate on my book
- Posted on
- Uncategorized
Blonde: Why is this water, like, salty?
Brunette: Uhhh, it’s sea water — the ocean is salty.
Blonde: Yeah, but I thought this was the Gulf…
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: tourist lover
Professor to group of girls covered in whitish goo: What happened to you?
Girl #1: Egg sac war.
Girl #2 and Girl #3: Yeah.
Professor: … Ugh.
Guy: I love this class.
–Fort DeSoto Beach, Florida
Overheard by: There’s nothing like lab in the field
- Posted on
- Compliments, Default, Florida, Food, Girls, Guys, Students, Teachers/Professors, Violence, Weirdness
50-something woman: My pee was sort of yellowish today!
Younger friend: (nods earnestly)
–Mission Valley, San Diego, California
Overheard by: Thank Goodness!
- Posted on
- California, Compare and contrast, Friends, Health & Hygiene, Pee, Women
Drunk girl: So, what do you do?
Drunk guy: Honestly? I sell weed. And surf.
–Bar, Long Beach, California
- Posted on
- California, Drugs, Drunks
Carnie kid: Yo, my friend over there thinks you’re cute.
Girl: Uh… okay.
Carnie kid: He wants to guess your weight.
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: carnie lover
- Posted on
- Compliments, Default, Diet and Weight, Girls, Kids, New York, Physical Appearance, Weirdness
Brunette: I’ve always wanted a tattoo, but I don’t think I’m going to get one. You can’t get buried in a Jewish cemetery if you have a tattoo.
Blonde: Why would you want to get married in a Jewish cemetery?
Brunette: Not married. Buried.
Blonde: Oh… So, are you Jewish?
Brunette: Yes.
Blonde: What is it with Jews always wanting to marry other Jews?
Brunette: I guess part of it is that the Jews have been persecuted so much, so people want to make sure to perpetuate the race.
Blonde: Really? Like who? Who persecuted the Jews?
Brunette: Um… well… the Nazis.
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
- Posted on
- Bimbettes, History, New Jersey, Stupidity
Little girl: Why is the ghost still here?
Dad: She just likes to come back and say hi from the spirit world.
Little girl: But why does she throw books?
Dad: She doesn't throw books, she just likes to read. And she's a little drunk.
–Hotel Del Coronado, San Diego, California
