Little girl: Mummy, mummy, look! It’s a shark!
Mum: No, sweetie, that’s Grandpa.
Betty Ford dropout: I hate it when you close your eyes and you feel the alcohol, but when you open them you don't.
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Danny
Chick #1: Why does that hurt your arms but nowhere else?
Chick #2: I dunno. It just does. I have weak arms.
Chick #1: I think you have leukemia…Don’t laugh! Leukemia is a horrible disease!
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
(group of awkward band geeks on the beach)
Girl #1: Did Dave* and Tina* go back to the house again?
Girl #2: Yes, the whole prom weekend all they have been doing is sneaking off to be alone.
Girl #1: You know they’ve been having sex all the time, don’t you?
(boy next to girl #2 sits up)
Girl #2: If you do it too much it’s not fun anymore.
–Trenton Avenue, Sea Girt, New Jersey
Overheard by: Girt Girl
A group of pedestrians is almost run down by several cyclists.
Girl #1: Are we walking on the bike path?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: God, I hate us.
–Lake Nokomis, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Aaron Johnson
Skinny white guy: I think I need to go sit in the shade for a while.
Skinny less-white guy: What?! If you are going to talk crazy, I need you to be drunk.
–Will Rogers Beach, Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: Panda
Girl: They look so much bigger when you’re on your knees!… Um, I meant the waves.
–Loon Point, Summerland, California
Overheard by: likes big waves
20-something guy, imitating his girlfriend: Rub my back! Put your dick in me! Me, me, me!
–Santa Monica Beach, California
Overheard by: Diana
Girl to friend: You just took four Clonazepam. How are you not having a good time?
–Luna Park, Coney Island
Mother: Honey, do you want some cheddar cheese Pringles?
Mother: See, they have zero grams trans fat. That’s really important now.
–Bradley Beach, Jersey Shore, New Jersey