Preppy 30-something guy: I mean, all the clubs in Europe are naked clubs now. (pause) Seriously, like, everybody’s naked!

–Indian Wells Beach, New York

Mechanic, returning car: I got a wireless cable.

–Wildwood Crest, New Jersey

Bimbette #1: I can’t believe you’re trying to learn Spanish just so you can hook up with that waiter.
Bimbette #2: [Mutters in Spanish.]Bimbette #1: What are you trying to say?
Bimbette #2: My eyes are brown.
Bimbette #1: You just said my eyes are a Muslim religion!

–Rocky Point, Mexico

Overheard by: oh my

Teen girl: Of course she will get naked, she is slutty… I will get naked too, next time, but you guys respect me, right? Oh look, there’s a nude dude… [Points at stranger.] Want to see if I can get him hard?

–Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Drunk college boy: Come get drunnnk!
Sober college girl: Nah I have a massive exam tomorrow, I gotta study.
Drunk college boy: Study… Like a fish.

–Gold Coast, Australia

Tourist: What do they do with the beach in the winter?

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Travis

Housemate: So, last night I was so high on acid that I thought the whole beach was made of cocaine, and now I can’t breathe.

–Brazil

Overheard by: living with morons

Girl running along shore: Smoke weed every day!
Black lady on beach blanket: Hallelujah! Come here, baby!

Girl runs to black lady, who stands and hugs her and kisses her.

Black lady: Smoke weed, God bless you!

–Seaside Heights, New Jersey

Overheard by: t-money

Surfer: It’s questions like these that you have to look to the Bible for answers. Like, what would Jesus do in a line-up like this? He’d fuck people up, that’s what He’d do!

–Shell Beach, California

Overheard by: One of the masses in the line up

Underage girl #1: Yeah, but I’m not going to feel okay using my ID if everyone here is from Ohio. They’re going to know it’s fake.
Underage girl #2: Shhh… There’s people in here.
Underage girl #1: I don’t care.
Girl in stall, coming out to wash hands: I know what you guys mean about the Ohio thing. Minivans… I just moved here from New York.
Underage girl #1: Oh?
Girl from stall: I hate it here. I just had a baby. He’s three months old, without a father…
Underage girl #2: Oh my god. I’m so sorry…
Girl from stall: Then my dad left us. He left our family after 25 years. He left us all behind.
Underage girl #1: Oh, uh…
Girl from stall: It’s alright. Have a nice night.

–Hilton Head, South Carolina

Overheard by: Awkward…