Nerds Have Trouuble Losing Their Virginity; They Keep Taking Their Eyes Off the Prize

Drunk guy to others: Imagine how long it would take to fuck a spider. It would take ages!

–Dunedin, New Zealand

Bedouin girl selling bracelets: Where you from?
Canadian tourist: You are so cute, I am from Canada!
Bedouin girl: Canada dry, never die, Canada dry, never die. You buy bracelet?

–Dahab, Egpyt

Guy #1: Do you like movies?
Guy #2: Movies? Oh yeah, movies!

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: tori

Teen girl to friend: If you don't stop, I will punch you in the tits.

–Pacifica, California

Southern belle: If I had gotten on that boat, I would have met the man of my dreams. We would have had an amazing time and I would have fallen madly in love. Then I'd go back to Arkansas and he'd forget about me, just like all the rest of them.
Friend: Yeah… Need a smoke?
Southern belle: Yes! Do you have menthol? I love menthol.

–Fort Myers Beach, Florida

Amateur marine biologist #1: Why are they called jellyfish?
Amateur marine biologist #2: They taste like jelly. Duh.
Amateur marine biologist #1: Blueberry jelly?
Amateur marine biologist #2: I dunno. Taste it.
Amateur marine biologist #1, moments later: Cherry.

–Chesapeake Bay

Hot tan girl reading specials board: Does that say tuna and Jews?
Hot pale girl: Um, no. That says “with chips.”

–Crazy Gringo, Weirs Beach, New Hampshire

Drunk guy: Dude, which way is the beach?!
Sober friend: We’re on an island! You figure it out!

–South Padre Island, Texas

Man on cell: I know — she’s been a proper cunt since she got cancer.

–Freshwater West, Pembroke, Wales

Overheard by: Withy

Girl #1: Do you think a guy would tell you if he had a girlfriend?
Girl #2: Yes, of course he would!

–Belmar, New Jersey

Overheard by: kate