12-year-old boy chasing group of younger kids: Damn punk kids! Damn disrespectful punk kids! When I was young, I had respect for my elders!

–Cottesloe Beach, Perth, Western Australia

Queer #1: Charles, look, there’s another one. He’s white, and the other looks Asian.

Holds up large signs that say “6” and “4,” respectively.

Queer #2: Definitely!
Queer #1: Oh, wow. Look at this one. Latino. Yummmm!

Holds up sign that says “9.”

Queer #2: Oh, yes. Totally!
Straight girl, walking by: What are you two doing? Comparing guys’ looks?
Queer #1: Uhh…
Queer #2: Breeder, please. The Asian guy is a 4, the white guy is a 6, and the Latino guy a 9. What do you think we’re trying to imagine?

–Sunset Beach, Florida

Overheard by: MangoJoe

Loud, drunk sorostitute leaving bar to drunk frat boy: When we get back, I'm gonna piss all over your pussy.

–Daytona Beach, Florida

Guy: I’ve seen that girl naked more than any other guy at this school, and I’m telling you, man, she has spots all over her vagina.

–West Beach, Beverly Farms, Massachusetts

Guy on cell: It's not gay if you use tweezers.

–Tampa, Florida

Little girl: Do you have a stronger brain or a stronger heart?
Dad: Who?
Little girl: You?
Dad: Both.

–Rye, New York

Overheard by: Lobster

Girl, as brother attempts to bury her in the sand: Why am I the one who gets to be buried?!
Boy: Cause no one wants to see you. Now lie down!

–Balm Beach, Ontario, Canada

Swedish guy: … So she had to shave her pussy and use a used razor she found in the trash.

–Barcelona, Spain

Overheard by: boxface

Early-20s chick: I mean, I love my dad as a father and a friend, but, like, definitely not as a husband.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: awesome is as awesome does

Girl on cell: Sometimes I just wanna beat you. Like, with my hand… Not my fist.

–Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: SB