Young 20-something guy, while texting: Is tranny spelled with one “n” or two?
–Ferry, Fire Island, New York
And They Keep Accidentally Driving Me Back Over the Border
Tourist with thick New Jersey accent: These people are so stupid! They don't even speak American.
–Huatulco, Mexico
The Ball Popped Out of the Scrum
Frat boy: … And I don’t really know what happened! All of a sudden I was in an orgy… And you know what? It wasn’t even all that good.
–Pacific Beach, California
After His Sex Change, Homer Simpson Moved to Vancouver
40-something woman: You're from Turkey? What language do they speak there?
Turkish guy: Uh… Turkish.
40-something woman: There's a language called Turkish? Really? Do a lot of people speak it?
Turkish guy: Well, yeah, more than a thousand years ago in central Asia…
40-something woman, interrupting: Chinese people speak Turkish? I didn't know that!
–Vancouver, Canadia
There's Tan, and Then There's Snookie Tan.
Black man to extremely dark black woman: Come out of the shade! Don't you want to get tan?
–Aruba
Overheard by: Cassidy
Samuel Beckett Was Tanning Nearby, and the Rest Is History
Old lady at car: Henry, wait for me!
Old man carrying beach chairs half a block ahead of her: Dammit, Agnes, I’m going! I’ve been waiting for you for 40 years!
–Beach near Naples, Florida
Overheard by: X
Why Most Americans Stay away from the Voting Booth
Young woman: I am so not doing that again. One, it’s gross, and two, my legs are killing me.
–Chatham Light Beach, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Antonia
Dear Mythbusters…
Tattooed, bare-chested male #1: You could definitely walk a dog out here.
Tattooed, bare-chested male #2: You cannot! If you bring a dog onto a hot ass fuckin' boardwalk, the heat does not escape through his balls or his tongue.
–Coney Island Boardwalk, New York
Overheard by: SMS
It's Time for the U.S. to Normalize Relations With Cuba
Bikini blonde #1: I'm not dumb, I'm on vacation.
Bikini blonde #2: The ocean makes me wet.
–Varadero, Cuba
Overheard by: beach ginger
And in the Slums They Call Them 'Lunch'
Little boy: Dad, what kind of birds are these?
Dad: Those are pigeons, but at the seaside they will call them ‘seagulls’!
–Ostseebad Damp, Germany
Overheard by: Pascal