Bro to another: It's the government, bro. They're putting LSD in our oceans.

–Miami Beach, Florida

Overheard by: mar

20-something girl #1: So are you gonna go out with him again?
20-something girl #2: No. He's a vegetarian.
20-something girl #1: Well, you can change that.
20-something girl #2: No, he does it for like, moral reasons.
20-something girl #1: Oh. Ugh, no. Forget that, then.

–Long Beach, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Tara

Man to friend: So, I went on my knees. And then I went on my belly. And then I went on my knees again…it was hard!

–Mayan Riviera, Mexico

Overheard by: anna levi

Girl: The sign for “Ped Xing” is way too vague. Lots of words begin with “ped-“. It could very well be a pedophile crossing.

–Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Kelly

Girl: Ah! Julian's so bad at paying attention to me when we aren't having sex! Wait, did I say that out loud?

–Ocean City, Maryland

Random guy to little boy: Hey, you have fun today?
Little boy: Yeah, sure, but I still haven't found those crabs.

–Hilo, Hawaii

Overheard by: Gwen

Frat boy #1: How did Steve squeeze past the crowd and order drinks so fast?
Frat boy #2: Oh, he takes yoga classes.

–South Beach bar, Miami, Florida

Ditzy college girl to friends, about seagulls on a dock: This might be stupid, but are those birds? They're so evenly spaced!

–Lewiston, New York

Overheard by: Lauren

Tourist to lifeguard: Excuse me. Excuse me! When do they release the dolphins?

–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Backnarootie

10-year-old boy: We're going to have a hundred babies together.
14-year-old girl: What do you think I am?
10-year-old boy: A pregnant machine.

–Tampa, Florida