Hick tourist, pointing to the ocean: So is that there salt water?
Island Beach State Park worker, after long confused pause: It’s the ocean.
Hick tourist: Yeah, but does it like, have salt in it?
–Island Beach State Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: sick of bennies
Cheesy 15-year-old boy: I can’t believe you were about to go up to him and say that. Ha, ha, ha.
Cheesy 15-year-old girl: Wouldn’t be the first time I made someone cry.
Cheesy 15-year-old boy: You’re a whore.
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Guy selling belly and tongue rings: If you got the hole, we got the thing for it!
–Coney Island, New York
Professor #1: Where are you going?
Professor #2, with group of freshmen: Oh, y’know, Friday afternoon — just heading down to the bar.
Professor #1: Um…
Professor #2: The sand bar.
–Eckerd College, St. Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: I love my major.
Woman: Excuse me, is that Catalina?
Man: No, Catalina is over there.
Woman: Oh, well, what island is that?
Man: Um, that’s a ship.
–Palos Verdes, California
JAP #1: Okay, seriously, he is the hottest senior ever.
JAP #2: Hah, yeah he is.
JAP #1: Like, you don’t understand — I would fuck his toe if he asked me to.
–Boca Beach Club, Boca Raton, Florida
Overheard by: lilly
Dude #1: All I’m saying is, at some point she’ll be 23 and damn sexy.
Dude #2: You have a good point.
–Cupsogue Beach, Westhampton, New York
Overheard by: sas
Boater #1: Look at all the geese! Will they move out of the way of the boat?
Boater #2: Of course they’ll move. They’re just like birds.
–Lake Erie, Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Beth
Girl to younger boy: You’re going to be a real lady killer when you’re older.
Younger boy: I’ll kill men, too. I don’t care.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Brittney
Over-dressed and self-important guy on cell: No, no, it was some sort of implement she was calling us… No… Rubber? A douchebag? I’ve heard that before.
–Pacific Palisades, California
Overheard by: ear of the betafish
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
