Teen girl: My ribs are so big!
Mom: You can blame your father for that.
Dad: Your ribs are fine.
Teen girl: They look like a second set of boobs!
Dad: They look fine.
Mom: You know, you can get surgery to have some of them removed.
–Belmar, New Jersey
Girl: Hm. Which way should we sit? Where’s the sun?
Guy: Yeah. See, that’s what’s wrong with East Coast beaches. The sun ends up, like, behind you.
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: kev
Teen girl #1: Was he gay?
Teen girl #2: No, he was Mexican.
–Lavallette, New Jersey
Man, carrying two hands full of knives: Knives for sale! Knives for sale! 100 dollars! Getting tired of your brother, your cousin, your mother-in-law? Knives for sale! You feeling suicidal? Knives! Knives for sale! 100 dollars!
–Montego Bay, Jamaica
Overheard by: Elle
Daughter, to mom: So how do you know when to just lay there and when to beat them off?
–Ocean Beach, San Diego, California
Woman on beach: Ah, I didn’t come to the beach to get wet! It’s getting in my hair, on my shoes. Where are the car keys?
–Port Elgin, Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: Linz
Delighted five-year-old: Mommy! Mommy! A fish!
Mom: What is it?
Delighted five-year-old: A fish! In the water!
Mom: Oh, you see a fish? Is he swimmin’?
Delighted five-year-old: No! He’s dead!
–Clove Lake Park, Staten Island
Mexican tour guide: Virgin women between the ages of 19 – 24 were sacrificed at the top of the main temple to the sun god–
Bored Brit #1: –What he really means is that all the pretty birds had already been laid so they had to sacrifice the ugly birds for the benefit of the future civilization.
Bored Brit #2: I don’t care. All I want to do is run to the top of that little temple, have a fag, and look at the ocean.
–Cancun, Mexico
Man on cell: We met at a bar and went on one date… You don’t even know me! You haven’t even seen my MySpace page!
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Greg
Teenage boy #1: Dude, look at that hot chick… And she’s topless!
Teenage boy #2: That’s a man in in a speedo, you idiot.
Teenage boy #1: Oh. (look of disgust)
–Long Beach, New York
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
