Tahit­ian Women: ‘There’s So Much More to Us Than That!’

Tanned girl: That’s not tan­ning lo­tion. That’s brown paint.
Pale girl: Well, it cost me $80 so it bet­ter get me your col­or. Be­sides, it says Tahit­ian women have been us­ing it for years!
Tanned girl: Yeah, and Tahit­ian women have been hav­ing syphilis for years, too.

–Sport­ing Beach Club, Beirut, Lebanon

Over­heard by: Nicol­ien

Is That a Chal­lenge?

Lit­tle girl, very afraid of the toi­let: No!
Girl’s frus­trat­ed moth­er: Go to the bath­room. It’s not go­ing to hurt you. I promise!
Girl: No!
Moth­er: Please! I’ll be stand­ing right here. Noth­ing will hap­pen.
Girl: No no no no no!
Moth­er: God­dammit, Kylie! You can’t hold you poop in for­ev­er!

–New­port Beach, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Mil­lie

I Thought It Was a Float­ing Pen­i­ten­tiary

Guy: What’s the cap­i­tal of… Iraq?
Girl: Bagh­dad.
Guy: Lebanon?
Girl: Beirut.
Bim­bo: Oh my god, how do you know all this? Have you been to these coun­tries?
Girl #1: Yeah, be­cause they’re all such fun places to go vis­it…
Bim­bo: I don’t know any cap­i­tals ex­cept like Aus­tralia.
Guy: I’m sure you do, what about New Zealand?
Bim­bo: That’s a coun­try?!

–Mel­bourne, Aus­tralia