That was a Pla­ton­ic Blow Job

JAP #1: So yeah, Aaron* and Rachel* hooked up last night.
JAP #2: Oh my god! What a fuck­ing slut!
JAP #1: Did­n’t you and Rachel give Aaron a blow job last week, at the same time?
JAP #2: Yeah, so… Your point?
JAP #1: Oh, nev­er­mind… Just want­ed to know what you thought was slut­ty and what was­n’t.

–Bo­ca Beach Club, Bo­ca Ra­ton, Flori­da

Over­heard by: glad i picked the bo­ca ho­tel to stay at..

Shark: Ralph, Do You Have to Play the Jaws Theme Non-Stop?

Mid­dle aged tourist yelling fran­ti­cal­ly to chil­dren in the wa­ter: Get out, get out! There’s sharks!
Teenag­er with skim­board: Ac­tu­al­ly, those are a school of stingrays. They’re quite harm­le…
Mid­dle age moth­er, cut­ting him off: Shaaarks! Get out now!

–Clear­wa­ter Beach, Flori­da

Over­heard by: Jon­i­ca Gromp­son

Dude, Every­body Used to Wear Their Hair Like That

Sub­ur­ban man #1: What about Sam Adams?
Sub­ur­ban man #2: Ugh, I hate all Sam Adams beers. I would nev­er touch the stuff.
Sub­ur­ban man #1: Why?
Sub­ur­ban man #2: Well, Sam Adams was a gay man. And, well, I be­lieve in gay­ness, but I just don’t think gay peo­ple can make beer.

–Lake Waubee­ka, Con­necti­cut

Over­heard by: Hame­tu­ka