Depends. Show Me Your Wallet.

White guy to Asian girl made up like Thai hooker: Hey, are you waiting for me?

–Santa Monica Pier, California

Overheard by: Ann

Posted on September 22, 2026
Asian people, California, Questions, Stupidity, White people

That Reminds Me, When is Mom Up for Parole?

Chick: I can’t stand it when people smoke at the beach. It’s such a wrong thing to do in a place like this.
Dude: Smoking at the beach is like killing someone at a birthday party.

–Long Beach, California

Overheard by: Peter

Posted on September 22, 2026
California, Comebacks, Death, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Smoking

Plus It Helps Wash Down the Sand.

Male: Your kid is eating the sunscreen.
Female: It's okay, he's bright on the inside. It's good for him.

–Pacific Beach, California

Posted on September 21, 2026
California, Family, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Stupidity, Sunbathing, Women

It Was at Once Zesty and Explosive!

Older guy: We had dinner there earlier in the week. I got food poisoning.
Young kayaking guide: Really? Was it good?

–York Beach, Maine

Posted on September 21, 2026
Food, Guys, Maine, Old folks, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Stupidity

Or We'll Kill You

Girl (pointing to sign on lifeguard tower): Hah! I thought that said “Dying is dangerous and prohibited” for a sec.
Guy: You're crazy. It says “diving!”
Girl: (pause) I know. But.. oh, whatever.
Lifeguard: Yes–we have a very strict policy… No dying!

–Corona Del Mar Beach, California

Overheard by: Dee