Boy: So you go out a lot?
Girl: Yeah. My sister thinks I’m a druggy, but I’m like, “Sure I take drugs a lot, but that doesn’t make me a druggy.”

–Beach in Australia

Fat girl: What did you and Michelle talk about on the phone last night?
Skinny girl: She and Alex are fighting.
Fat girl: You're lying, they are not! What did she really tell you?
Skinny girl: Well, she thinks Victoria's replacing her.
Fat girl: Ugh, she could've just talked to me about it… Victoria did kinda replace her, though.

–Lavalette, New Jersey

Overheard by: Crab

20-something girl: I can't believe I let my career go. I could have been the new Paris Hilton, but like Spanish. Caliente!

–Lincoln Woods State Park, Rhode Island

Quick-walking woman leaving voice mail: Hey, it’s me. I need you to call me as soon as you get this. I have never wanted to chop someone’s dick off as much I as I do right now. He is a low-down lying piece of shit, and I hope he fucking dies. I mean, a fucking tractor-trailer could run his fucking sonofabitch ass over and I would be perfectly fine. Okay, talk to you soon, I love you!

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Girl: That big lady across the room is staring at you again. You know she thinks you’re hot — I bet she’s picturing you naked right now.
Guy, rubbing his nipples: She wants my body.
Girl: In a minute she’s gonna look over here and do that to you.
Guy: Are you kidding? That bitch would have to grow longer arms so she could reach below her knees.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Guy: Can you pass the ChapStick? Because “lip gloss” has the taint.

–Cambria, California

Overheard by: nadia

Guy: So I went to the party last night… and she gave me a BJ. Told you I was beast.
Friend: Well, she has herpes, so you should get tested.
Guy: That whore!

–Holden Beach, North Carolina

American girl #1: Does your boyfriend shave his balls?
American girl #2: I didn’t know that men do that.
Nearby British man: Is this what young American girls talk about on their holiday?

–Cassis, France

Woman: Is there anything we haven’t done yet?
Man: I haven’t fucked you with an electric toothbrush.
Woman: You’re sick.

–Santa Cruz, California

Tourist: How do I get to the beach?
Local #1: Get on the 8 and go east.
Tourist: Thanks.
(tourist leaves)
Local #2: You're sending her east.
Local #1: Fuck her, she didn't say which beach.

–Pacific Beach, California