Out-of-shape 50-something customer: I don't know, the guys I see riding fixed-gear bikes are in really good shape.
20-something bike salesman: That shouldn't intimidate you; it should inspire you.
–Sag Harbor, New York
Overheard by: the lerpa
- Posted on
- Compliments, Customers, New York, Physical Appearance, Sports, Vendors
Small boy running back from the ocean: Mom! I have to pee!
Mom: Just go in the ocean.
Boy: I tried, but the waves kept pushing my pants back up!
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Hysterical mom to toddler in bathroom stall: Goddamit Jeffrey, stop trying to pull it off and just piss out of it!
–Bathroom Stall, Mall, Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws
- Posted on
- Advice, Body parts, Florida, Moms, Pee
Mom: Hey, Jason! I’ll give you fiiive dollars if you can catch a seagull!
Kid: So?
Mom: That’s like… eight Twinkies! [Kid begins chasing gulls.] Oh, look, he’s trying to hit them with rocks!
–South Haven, Michigan
Dude: What does that mean anyways, ‘Catch you on the flip side,’ huh?
Chick: Yeah, where the fuck is the flip side?
–Dockweiler Beach, Playa del Rey, California
Overheard by: kitty
Sailor #1, in bathroom: Ew! I saw your dick!
Sailor #2: Ew! You wish!
–Pensacola, Florida
Overheard by: disturbed roommate
Little girl voice: Get a flame thrower! (a few minutes later) Firegirl gets iced!
–Oceanside, California
Overheard by: What goes on in my neighborhood?
- Posted on
- California, Kids, Offers and requests, Weirdness
Crabby mom to sugared-up five-year-old: Fine! Tell your daddy I said you were shark bait. Just please sit down or, I swear to God, you will be!
–South Padre Island, Texas
Overheard by: airwav
Teen girl: Why are there feathers, like, all around our blankets?
Teen boy: Because I just ate a fucking bald eagle and enjoyed it.
–Horseneck Beach, Westport, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Bologna Sandwich
- Posted on
- Animals, Massachusetts, Teens
