Doctor: This woman came into the ER the other day who had cut herself on the forehead, but instead of using a towel or something to stop the bleeding, she wrapped her head up like seven times with duct tape.
Dork: Holy shit! How did you get it off of her?
Doctor: We had to cut it off in little strips. She looked like a Hershey’s Kiss.
Dork: What, you mean she was black?
Doctor: Yes!
–Crane Beach, Massachusetts
- Posted on
- Doctors, Health & Hygiene, Idiots, Massachusetts, Race, Weirdness
Chick #1: I can’t put these pictures on MySpace! I look fat!
Chick #2: I’ll put them on MySpace. I’m a skinny bitch.
–Jones Beach, New York
Bimbette: You know what I like?
Brother: …What?
Bimbette: No, I don’t know, I was asking. Like, for serious.
–Kiawah Island Resort, Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: hannah
- Posted on
- Bimbettes, South Carolina, Stupidity
Teen #1: … And then I got, like, swept out into the Pacific! It was so scary!
Teen #2: Don’t you mean the Atlantic?
Teen #1: Oh, yeah.
Teen #3: You guys are retards. That’s the Gulf of Mexico!
Teens #1 and #2: Ohhh.
–St. Simons Island, Georgia
Overheard by: just out for a walk
Women on cell walking down a 2-mile beach: I am right by the water. Where are you?
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Antzolino
Man: Get rid of your mustache, and then worry about the Brazilian.
Woman: Get some hair on your head, and then go fuck yourself.
–Jersey Shore, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mike
- Posted on
- Assholes, Biotechs, Hair, New Jersey
Old lady: This isn’t a nude beach!
Young lady, sunbathing topless and feigning surprise: Oh, really? Oh, okay…
–Auckland, New Zealand
Overheard by: Shakira
- Posted on
- Body parts, Default, Girls, Gripes, New Zealand, Old folks
Biker to biker babe: We could hide a homeless guy between your boobs and he could eat forever.
–Holiday Inn, New Smyrna Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Beeeej
