Boy: You should have come out last night! It was the best pub crawl ever!
Girl: Yeah? Which pub crawl was it?
Boy's girlfriend, unimpressed: It wasn't a pub crawl. It was just him… going to a lot of pubs… by himself.
–Gold Coast, Australia
That's What You Said About the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria
Little boy: Dad, what's the navy?
Dad: It's the army, but with boats.
–South Haven, Michigan
…Though I Guess the Cow Also Works.
Girl, handing beach towel to gay guy: Here. This one's for you cuz it's got fruit on it.
Gay guy: Oh, I'm sorry. Where's the one with a bitch on it for you?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: aoK
Now I'm Objectifying Older Women Like a Pro!
Guy to another: Dude! I had to google “milf”, I didn't know what it meant!
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Once You Understand That, I Will Introduce You to the Inexplicable Wetness of the Dry Suit
Teen boy #1: I swear on my mom, if you just put that on you won’t get wet.
Teen boy #2: Then why the fuck is it called a wet suit?
–Cedar Lake, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Elizabeth: 0 Ice Cream Man: 1
Limping girl with bandages and arm in a sling: I dunno, he started driving away so I just grabbed on.
–Wildwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Max
I'm Sure They Still Make De-Lousing Shampoo
Frat boy to girl walking by and ignoring him: Is it because of my hair? Cause I'll change that!
–Mission Beach, San Diego, California
Every Family Has Its Secret Shame
Seven-year-old, loudly: What do you mean nana doesn't vote Democrat?!
–Cape May, New Jersey
Overheard by: The RJP
Payback's a Bitch
Saggy-drawered kid: That woman carrying shit on her head.
Mother: Boy, you ain’t in Brooklyn anymore. This place different. And keep your voice down.
Saggy-drawered kid: Hell, she don’t speak English. And what the hell computer boy gonna do, report me to the internet?
–Tela Beach, Honduras
Overheard by: Computer boy, I assume
With Slightly More Explosives.
Poli-sci professor, on international military education and training: It's like going to Harvard… (class is silent) …Harvard grad school. It's really prestigious.
–UC Santa Cruz
California
