Girl #1: Oh, man! So, for Christmas my dad is letting me get my cartilidge pierced! I’m so excited!
Girl #2: Oh, man, that’s so cool! I want to get mine done, too.
Girl #1: Yeah, I’ll only ever get my ears pierced. Everything else is so gross and weird.
Girl #3: Yeah, well, I have my clit pierced — do you think that’s weird?
Girl #2: What’s a clit?

–Nags Head, North Carolina

Random high school girl: So then I looked at her and said, “Shit, bitch, what's your fucking problem?”
Random high school guy: Were they Mexican?
Girl: Uh-huh.
Guy: Well, were they sexy Mexicans?
Girl: Yes, deary, they were Sexicans.

–Rat Beach, California

Overheard by: where can i find them?

Drunk college girl to drunk college boy: We have the same cell phone…we have so much in common!

–Panama City, Florida

Seven-year-old girl to friend: Kyle says he's going to go through all the girls' bags and steal their undies.

–Outdoor Swimming Pool, Victoria, Australia

Overheard by: Mr. E

Man to wife and daughter: Hey! I've shat my pants before and it really wasn't that bad, so I'd be willing to do it again.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

20-something college guy: So he was getting the anal beads pulled out, coming at the same time, and he shat all over this girl’s couch.
20-something college girl: Well then what did he do?
20-something college guy: I dunno, he probably wiped his ass and left…

–Casino Beach, Pensacola, Florida

Hick tourist, pointing to the ocean: So is that there salt water?
Island Beach State Park worker, after long confused pause: It's the ocean.
Hick tourist: Yeah, but does it like, have salt in it?

–Island Beach State Park, New Jersey

Overheard by: sick of bennies

Cheesy 15-year-old boy: I can’t believe you were about to go up to him and say that. Ha, ha, ha.
Cheesy 15-year-old girl: Wouldn’t be the first time I made someone cry.
Cheesy 15-year-old boy: You’re a whore.

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Guy selling belly and tongue rings: If you got the hole, we got the thing for it!

–Coney Island, New York

Professor #1: Where are you going?
Professor #2, with group of freshmen: Oh, y’know, Friday afternoon — just heading down to the bar.
Professor #1: Um…
Professor #2: The sand bar.

–Eckerd College, St. Petersburg, Florida

Overheard by: I love my major.