Male beach-goer #1: Wait, how did I get stuck carrying the poop?
Male beach-goer #2: You didn’t.
Male beach-goer #1: Isn’t the poop in this bag?
Male beach-goer #2: Ok, yes, technically speaking, you’re carrying the poop.
Male beach-goer #1: Oh my God! No one’s ever said that to me before.
–Island Beach State Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Poopfactory
Little girl to friend, after being put back into standing position by a wave: Haha! That wave just knocked me up!
–Craigville Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sarah
Boyfriend, offering a sip of shake: Here, have some.
Girlfriend: No, I’m okay.
Boyfriend: Have some, it’s protein!
Girlfriend: No! I’ll just suck your dick later.
Boyfriend: [Silence.]
–South Beach Florida
Bikini #1: And?
Bikini #2: And what?
Bikini #1: And what happened?
Bikini #2: We had sex.
–Bondi Beach, Australia
Overheard by: Ggary
Chick to whispering friend: You shaved down there so he could stick his tongue in you?!
–Deerfield Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Marg
Lady in long line for bathroom: Why you wanna change in there when you got sand up your ass?
–Boardwalk, Coney Island, New York
Boy, obviously on drugs: My mum says that your brain is like a forest, and every time you take drugs you are cutting down a tree.
–Splendour Music Festival, Byron Bay, Australia
Teen girl #1: Why the hell are we here?
Teen girl #2: Because we have nothing better to do.
Teen girl #1: Wait… why didn’t we call that guy who did that porno after high school? He’ll do us both.
–Ashwaubomay Lake, Ashwaubenon, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Lacy Magnolia
Short sister: If I were to be in a porno with anyone, I would choose to be in it with you.
Tall sister: I’m not risking my dignity to be in a porno with my sister. No matter how much you’re paying me.
–Lake Kalamalka, Vernon, British Columbia, Canadia
Overheard by: Sounds like a good time to me.
Hobo in wheelchair to boys skating: Bend over!
Boy: If you were tall enough…
–Santa Monica, California
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
