Such a Small Area, So Many Prob­lems

20-some­thing girl #1, com­ing out of wa­ter: Oh my god! I got stage fright, I could­n’t go.
20-some­thing girl #2: Oh, there’s Danielle!! (points down to beach)
20-some­thing girl #1: As soon as she gets here we’re go­ing back in, I have to pee so bad­ly!
20-some­thing girl #2: Hey, Danielle!
Danielle: Ohmigod, you guys! My her­pes burns so bad­ly!
(all three walks in­to wa­ter)

–Vir­ginia Beach, Vir­ginia

Over­heard by: Sweed­ie

… I Got Bet­ter

Beach bun­ny #1: I to­tal­ly slept with Bran­don last night.
Beach bun­ny #2: How was it?
Beach bun­ny #1: Awe­some. He was so fuck­ing huge he, like, broke my vagi­na.
Beach bun­ny #2: Damn. That’s say­ing a lot.
Beach bun­ny #1, hap­pi­ly: I know! I’m a to­tal whore!

–Del Mar Beach, San Diego, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Bran­don stole my girl­friend