Cheesy 15-year-old boy: I can’t believe you were about to go up to him and say that. Ha, ha, ha.
Cheesy 15-year-old girl: Wouldn’t be the first time I made someone cry.
Cheesy 15-year-old boy: You’re a whore.
–Ocean City, New Jersey
And Hard to Breathe
20-something girl, coming out of the ocean: This water’s salty!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
So Much for the 'Little Black Dress You Can Wear Anywhere'
Angry Texan guy being turned away at door: Pants? Pants? Who brings pants to Mexico?
–Formal restaurant, Cancun, Mexico
Overheard by: sheila
High School Musical? Please
Redhead to blonde: So I think he's gay, for serious, I'm not even kidding.
Blonde: What does your dad think?
Redhead: Oh, my dad says that he's “just playing.”
Blonde: Little boys don't play like that.
–La Jolla, California
You Always Remember Your Slow Summer Friends
Kid in wave pool, to friend: No, you gotta jump up into the waves. Jump! Jump! No, jump up, not down!
–Splish Splash, Long Island, New York
I Love a Girl Who Can Handle Her Balls
70-year-old man at bar: I got prostate cancer back in the day, so I can lick 'em, but I can't dick 'em.
Almost legal girl: Oh? (laughs)
70-year-old man: You're very well-built for your age. (stares at girl's breasts) You wanna play pool with me?
–Palm Coast, Florida
About As Plausible As a Sea Cow
Girl #1, looking at sand dunes: Look! A rabbit!
Girl #2: Rabbits can't breath under water.
Girl #3: Sea hare!
–Salt Mantra, NSW Australia
"Arf-Arf" Means "Give Me the Meat or Die!"
Six-year-old boy running with hot dog in hand, chased by leash-less Doberman Pinscher: Look, Dad!
Suddenly-observant father: No! Drop that meat!
Six-year-old boy, still running with hot dog in hand: But Dad, I’m learning to speak dog!
–Ocean Beach’s Dog Beach, California
Overheard by: fishwhisperer
Pop Quiz: Which Girl Are You?
Tourist girl #1: Wow! Check out the package on that guy!
Tourist girl #2: What? He's not holding anything.
Tourist girl #1: I meant his dick!
–Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Overheard by: Fernanda
Minneapolis Kids Emerge from Hibernation After a Long Wii-inter
Dad to kid: You guys want to rent a canoe?
Kid: Canoe!? That's super hard, even on the Wii, much less in real water!
–Lake Calhoun Beach, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: caveman