Sunbather to her gal pals: Do you think those guys know that Rick has slept with each of us?
–Lewes, Delaware
Overheard by: Graz
Only Kidding, Pookie — I Love Your Soft Little Vienna Sausage
Salesman: Gringo, gringo. Mexican wrestling mask, Nacho Libre!
Guy: No, dude, sorry. I already bought two today.
Salesman: Señorita, one for you?
Girl: Um, no, thanks.
Salesman: Come on… it will be something different for tonight!
Girl: If I wanted something different, we’d be at the farmacia buying Cialis.
–Puerto Nuevo, Mexico
Our SATs Have Tanning and Waxing Sections
High school girl #1: Wait, Muhammad Ali the boxer or the dictator?
High school girl #2: What planet do you come from where Muhammad Ali is a dictator?
High school girl #1: Florida.
–West Palm Beach, Florida
We Have Enough Imaginary Llamas to Deal with As It Is
Hot teen girl #1: Sexy llama come to mama. (throws imaginary lasso)
Hot teen girl #2 (caught in the imaginary lasso): Unce unce unce unce…yes.
Random lady to son nearby: See honey, this is why we don’t eat magical mushrooms.
–Rehoboth Beach, Deleware
Overheard by: kevin
Can’t Figure ’em Out?
Bimbette: My nipples are hard.
–Wasaga Beach, Ontario, Canadia
You’re Kind of Creeping Me Out
Mom telling young son to hold her hand: I just love you so much I can’t let go.
Little boy: You don’t have to love me that much.
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: local onlooker
We Know That Spidey-Sense Well
Drunk college student, spilling wine on herself: Oh great. Now I’m wet all over!
Drunk college boy nearby: What! Who said that!?
–Gold Coast, Australia
Dolphin: I Prefer Cetecean-Australian, Thanks
Dude: When I was in Florida, there was a dolphin in the water about five feet from me. I never ran so fast in my life.
Chick: Why?
Dude: When something big and black surfaces next to you in the water, you generally start to shit your pants.
–North Burleigh Beach, Australia
Overheard by: Galina
A Cautionary Tale About Sunblock Fumes
Brunette: When’s your anniversary?
Blonde: May.
Brunette: Oh, today?
Blonde: No, May.
Brunette: Oh, mine too.
Blond: When’s your anniversary?
Brunette: May.
–Rockaway Beach, New York
For God’s Sake, I’m Starting to Think, Here!
Man, to himself: I wish we were back at the condo so I could watch tv. I can only sit here and watch nothing for so long.
–Fripp Island, South Carolina
