Kid, skateboarding in parking lot next door: I think those gummy worms gave me diarrhea.
–Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: Jen
Kid, skateboarding in parking lot next door: I think those gummy worms gave me diarrhea.
–Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: Jen
Tourist wife: Look at their butts. These bikinis are too small…Honey? Did you hear me?
Tourist husband: Huh?
Tourist wife: My point exactly.
–Ipanema Beach, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Beach lady #1: Oh girls, last night I was watching 16 and Pregnant.
Beach lady #2: My daughter watches that. Well, I think it is stupid! That would suck for those girls.
Beach lady #1: How stupid are these kids these days? That’s why my daughter uses safe sex.
Beach lady #2: Wait, weren’t you pregnant at 16?
–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: Emily
Girl #1: Look at that guy!
Girl #2: Which one?
Girl #1: The one with the white thong!
Girl #2: [80-year-old guy bends over to pick up shell.] Look! The thong’s not white there!
Girl #1: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
–Daytona Beach, Florida
Freshman bikini girl #1: College classes are much more lame than I thought they would be.
Freshman bikini girl #2: Yeah. I mean, who cares about, like, the difference between Chinese and Japanese?
Freshman bikini girl #1: Yeah! Or algebra! Like anyone even cares!
Freshman bikini girl #2: Do you have more baby oil?
–Cocoa Beach, Florida
Overheard by: a professor who specializes in Asian cultures
Young boy: Don’t fire the rocket launcher until I can go and get it! I’m already down to my third layer of skin, cuz the rest of it burned off!
–Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: Narwhal
Father: No, you can’t go in there. There’s a bar, and it’s over 21.
Little boy standing in front of café stares at father.
Father: Quick, get away from the door before you set off the alarm!
–Duck, Outer Banks, North Carolina
Professor: Are you guys working or just following a stingray?
Student #1: Working!
Student #2: Um…
Student #3: Both.
Professor: Both?
Student #3: We’re using the stingray to randomly decide where to take our next sample. They eat invertebrates — it’s like a divining rod!
–Fergie Shoals, Florida
Overheard by: Justification is for the geeky
Tattooed dad to two-year-old daughter struggling to get on tricycle: Remember, sweetie, always get on from the left so you don’t burn yourself on the exhaust pipe.
–Playground, Alameda, California
Overheard by: lith
20-something woman #1: She was bitching about how there was nothing to eat in the house, and so Bob* said, “you could go to the store,” and she said, “I don’t go to the store on my vacation. There are two things I don’t do on vacation: go to the store and cook.“
20-something woman #2: What is she even on vacation from? Sitting on her ass?
–Holden Beach, North Carolina
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist