This Time Je­sus Turns the Beer in­to Fan­ta Grape

Cop: All right, what’s in the cup?
Young guy: Uh, beer.
Cop: I asked you what’s in the cup. Now give it to me.
Young guy: I just told you, it’s beer!
Cop: You do know it’s il­le­gal to be drink­ing on the board­walk, right?
Young guy: It’s so­da.
Cop: It’s beer. Give it to me.
Young guy: No! It’s mine!

Young guy runs off with cup.

–Sea­side Heights, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: al­so kin­da drunk

We Talk of Many Things

Woman #1: Oh my god! How are you?
Woman #2: I’m great! How are you?
Woman #1: I’m great! How’s your wal­rus?
Woman #2: Oh, he’s fine. I’m keep­ing him in my liv­ing room.

–Long Beach Is­land, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: Adam Krae­mer