Nerds Have Trouuble Losing Their Virginity; They Keep Taking Their Eyes Off the Prize

Drunk guy to others: Imagine how long it would take to fuck a spider. It would take ages!

–Dunedin, New Zealand

Posted on September 22, 2023
Animals, Drunks, New Zealand, Sex, Time

Your Editors Would Totally Buy a Bracelet

Bedouin girl selling bracelets: Where you from?
Canadian tourist: You are so cute, I am from Canada!
Bedouin girl: Canada dry, never die, Canada dry, never die. You buy bracelet?

–Dahab, Egpyt

Posted on September 21, 2023
Geography, Middle East, Questions, Tourists, Vendors

Flicker Pictures? The Silver Screen? I'm With Ya.

Guy #1: Do you like movies?
Guy #2: Movies? Oh yeah, movies!

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: tori

Posted on September 21, 2023
California, Guys, Movies, Questions, Stupidity

How You Know a Baby's Too Old to Be Breast-feeding

Teen girl to friend: If you don't stop, I will punch you in the tits.

–Pacifica, California

Posted on September 20, 2023
Biotechs, California, Insults, Rack, Violence

My Cancer Never Forgets Me

Southern belle: If I had gotten on that boat, I would have met the man of my dreams. We would have had an amazing time and I would have fallen madly in love. Then I'd go back to Arkansas and he'd forget about me, just like all the rest of them.
Friend: Yeah… Need a smoke?
Southern belle: Yes! Do you have menthol? I love menthol.

–Fort Myers Beach, Florida

Posted on September 20, 2023
Feelings, Florida, Friends, Girls, Offers and requests, Relationships, Smoking

Let's Hope They Keep Trying This Before They Have a Chance to Reproduce

Amateur marine biologist #1: Why are they called jellyfish?
Amateur marine biologist #2: They taste like jelly. Duh.
Amateur marine biologist #1: Blueberry jelly?
Amateur marine biologist #2: I dunno. Taste it.
Amateur marine biologist #1, moments later: Cherry.

–Chesapeake Bay