Little girl: Mummy, mummy, look! It’s a shark!
Mum: No, sweetie, that’s Grandpa.

–Caloundra, Australia

Betty Ford dropout: I hate it when you close your eyes and you feel the alcohol, but when you open them you don't.

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Danny

Chick #1: Why does that hurt your arms but nowhere else?
Chick #2: I dunno. It just does. I have weak arms.
Chick #1: I think you have leukemia…Don’t laugh! Leukemia is a horrible disease!

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

(group of awkward band geeks on the beach)
Girl #1: Did Dave* and Tina* go back to the house again?
Girl #2: Yes, the whole prom weekend all they have been doing is sneaking off to be alone.
Girl #1: You know they’ve been having sex all the time, don’t you?
(boy next to girl #2 sits up)
Girl #2: If you do it too much it’s not fun anymore.

–Trenton Avenue, Sea Girt, New Jersey

Overheard by: Girt Girl

A group of pedestrians is almost run down by several cyclists.

Girl #1: Are we walking on the bike path?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: God, I hate us.

–Lake Nokomis, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Aaron Johnson

Skinny white guy: I think I need to go sit in the shade for a while.
Skinny less-white guy: What?! If you are going to talk crazy, I need you to be drunk.

–Will Rogers Beach, Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: Panda

Girl: They look so much bigger when you’re on your knees!… Um, I meant the waves.

–Loon Point, Summerland, California

Overheard by: likes big waves

20-something guy, imitating his girlfriend: Rub my back! Put your dick in me! Me, me, me!

–Santa Monica Beach, California

Overheard by: Diana

Girl to friend: You just took four Clonazepam. How are you not having a good time?

–Luna Park, Coney Island

Mother: Honey, do you want some cheddar cheese Pringles?
Kid: Sure.
Mother: See, they have zero grams trans fat. That’s really important now.

–Bradley Beach, Jersey Shore, New Jersey