Guy selling beer: Ladies, if your man won't buy you a beer he ain't gonna buy you anything else!
Same guy selling beer, an hour later: If you don't drink beer, you're gonna die!
–Brighton Beach, New York
Overheard by: Ramen
Mid-twenties gal: (shows bottle of sunscreen) Hey, hon, will you cream me?
Mid-twenties guy: (snickers)
Mid-twenties gal: What? Oh, god. You’re sick.
(guy rubs the sunscreen on her back)
Mid-twenties guy: Can you get the rest yourself?
Mid-twenties gal: Yeah, I’ll just finish myself off.
Mid-twenties guy: (snickers)
Mid-twenties gal: Oh, shut-up!
–St. Paul, Minnesota
- Posted on
- Couples, Masturbating, Minnesota, Offers and requests, Sex, Sunbathing, Words
Teen male #1: I just saw two lesbians kissing in the water.
Teen male #2: What? Why didn't you take a fucking picture?
Teen male #1: Right, I forgot to take my camera phone with me while diving into the water…
–North Crete, Greece
Dude: … So I’m, like, sitting there and she just keeps staring at me! So you know what I did? I threw my pizza crust at her forehead… And she started to bleed! I mean, that was some hard pizza crust, man! And you know what did said? Nothing! She just kept staring!
–Dewey Beach, Delaware
WASP girl: I saw three of them, and they all looked the same. I think they were Mexicanese?
–Bar Harbor, Maine
Overheard by: dulcineaesq
Trendy overdressed girl: Oh my god, did you see all those teenagers lurking outside? They think they're so fucking cool! God!
Trendy overdressed guy: I know.
Trendy overdressed girl: It's like, ever since we turned 20, I can't believe we ever hung out with people like that.
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: 22-year-old who's glad she never hung out with either of them
- Posted on
- Age and ageing, California, Compare and contrast, Fashion, Girls, Gripes, Guys
Out-of-shape 50-something customer: I don't know, the guys I see riding fixed-gear bikes are in really good shape.
20-something bike salesman: That shouldn't intimidate you; it should inspire you.
–Sag Harbor, New York
Overheard by: the lerpa
- Posted on
- Compliments, Customers, New York, Physical Appearance, Sports, Vendors
Small boy running back from the ocean: Mom! I have to pee!
Mom: Just go in the ocean.
Boy: I tried, but the waves kept pushing my pants back up!
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Hysterical mom to toddler in bathroom stall: Goddamit Jeffrey, stop trying to pull it off and just piss out of it!
–Bathroom Stall, Mall, Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws
- Posted on
- Advice, Body parts, Florida, Moms, Pee
