Girl in the ocean to onshore friend: Come out here! I'm like The Little Mermaid without Sebastian! I don't even have flounder!
Girl on shore: (shakes head no)
Girl in the ocean: Come on! You've seen Baywatch! Jog!
–Smith's Point, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Andi
Boss: What do you call this finger in English?
Employee: The ring finger.
Boss: Ok, how about this one?
Employee: Uh, hold it right there [takes a picture] That’s the middle finger.
Boss: I see. How about the little one?
Translated from the Japanese
–Beach BBQ in Toyama, Japan
Little girl: I’m Italian, so I don’t get sick.
–Mashpee, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Jill
Dirty surfer to disinterested hippie girl: I mean, I do something for the military that nobody else does, no one has ever been able to do. It's tracking a submarine, underwater, tracking exactly where it is and where it goes, without using sonar, or any technology, or detection devices. They don't know how I do it, and I won't tell them, but I do it. I've won awards for it.
–Ala Moana Blvd. honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: mel
Group of valley girls, giggling: So you’re bisexual, right?
Girl with piercings and multi-colored hair: Ummm… Yeah…?
Group of valley girls: So, what does that mean?!
Girl with piercings and multi-colored hair: Holy shit… Okay, you know what? Go ask your preacher.
–Centennial Beach, British Columbia, Canadia
Overheard by: shutterbug
Furious teenage boy to other teens: Just because you call “no-homo” before you do something doesn't mean it's not gay!
–Coney Island, New York
Yuppie #1, trying to take over occupied bonfire: It’s okay — we just have to wait for them to light themselves on fire.
Yuppie #2: Yeah, it’s like evolution.
–Dockweiler Beach, California
White teen girl #1: The first rule of being white is never admitting that you’re white.
White teen girl #2: Oh! I never admit that!
–Avon Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: NotFromJersey
Lifeguard #1: So, what would you do if somebody came to you with a bat bite?
Lifeguard #2: Ummm… Clean up the wound, I guess.
Lifeguard #1: [Long pause] What would you do for someone with a clown bite?
–Echo Lake, Maine
Guy: See that dark area in the water slowly moving? It’s a school of fish
Girl: Wow, are you sure?
Guy: Yup — snapper.
Girl: Wow, that’s amazing. [Long pause] How come it’s now on the sand?
Guy: It could also be a cloud.
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Rob Kemper
