Tourist: What time is high tide today?
Lifeguard: I think it’s around 6:30.
Tourist: Why don’t you just have it at the same time every day?
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Man on cell: What? What’s up with the banana skirt? How come I don’t get a banana skirt?
–Waikiki, Honolulu, Hawaii
Italian guy about cars with undercarriage lights: Look at these shitheads with the fucking shit on their fucks!
–Jersey Shore, New Jersey
Overheard by: quazarfreez
Boat captain: C’mon, we have to go. The tide’s coming in and the island’s gonna sink!
Gullible tourist: Okay.
(soon the tourist sees the island disappearing behind them on the horizon as the boat goes back to port)
Gullible tourist: You’re right! It’s sinking!
–Boat Tour, Hawaii
Girl in jeans: Did you seriously just ride side‐saddle on the merry‐go‐round?
Girl in long skirt: Fuck you, I’m a magical fuckin’ princess.
–Santa Cruz, California
Drunk hobo to group of gay guys: That’s why I love South Beach. It’s gay, gay, gay!
–Lincoln Road, Florida
Overheard by: David
Stoned surfer #1: Hey, remember that time when that shoe washed up that had a foot in in it?
Stoned surfer #2: Oh, yeah! And that dog got it and was running around with it and wouldn’t let anyone have it? That was hilarious.
Stoned surfer #1: Totally.
Overheard by: didn’t think it was hilarious then or now
Teen tourist: Oh my God, there’s a high school over there! Wait, does that mean people actually live here? I thought it was just a tourist place. Weird.
Girl #1: So I remembered to raise my eyebrows in the picture… Hey, want to see? (pulls out driver’s license).
Girl #2: I just leave mine in the car.
Girl #1: Your eyebrows?
Overheard by: Eating icecream at the time
“Jews for Jesus” guy: You like Superman? Take this pamphlet. Read it with all your friends. It will be story time!
Hands out pamphlet that metaphorically describes Jesus as Superman.
Girl: I didn’t realize Jews worshipped Superman.
–Jones Beach, New York