He's Kinda Gone Off Me Since He Broke My Seal

Guy #1: What I can’t understand is, $5,000 an hour for a hooker? How good can pussy be?
Woman #1: And where did he get that kind of money on a public official’s salary?
Guy #2: He could have cruised tenth avenue and gotten the same poontang for twenty bucks.
Woman #2: I don’t have to worry about Frank going to hookers. He won’t even use a bottle of ketchup if it’s already been opened.

–Italian Restaurant, Long Beach, New York

Overheard by: Big Larry

Knowledge Just Interferes with the Wonder of It All

Chick #1: You can see Venezuela on a clear day from here.
Chick #2: Really?! I would love to go to Venezuela — I hear it’s a really nice island.
Chick #1: Um… Island as in South America…?
Chick #2: It’s right off of South America, right?
Chick #1: I guess you should have paid attention in geography class.
Chick #2: What does math have to do with it?

–Aruba

Overheard by: Erin from New York