Girl to younger boy: You’re going to be a real lady killer when you’re older.
Younger boy: I’ll kill men, too. I don’t care.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Brittney

Over-dressed and self-important guy on cell: No, no, it was some sort of implement she was calling us… No… Rubber? A douchebag? I’ve heard that before.

–Pacific Palisades, California

Overheard by: ear of the betafish

Guy to Dachshund: Sit!
Girl: He doesn't really need to sit, he is so close to the ground.

–Tampa, Florida

Boyfriend to girlfriend’s underage sister: Want a beer? [Girlfriend and little sister stare at him.] What? It’s not like I asked her to blow me.

–Treasure Island Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Sara

Queer #1 reaching for sunscreen: Okay, I need someone to do my back!
Queer #2: Ewww.
Queer #1: Oh, shut up you skanky-ass, motherfucking whore!

–Cherry Grove Beach, Fire Island, New York

Overheard by: Marizzle

Shirtless meathead #1: This is awesome. We should start a shirts-off club.
Shirtless meathead #2: Yeah. We could call it ‘Shirtless in Seattle.’
Shirtless meathead #3: But we don’t live in Seattle.

–Dewey Beach, Delaware

Husband: Let’s take a surfing lesson.
Wife: The water’s too cold.
Husband: We can rent a wet suit.
Wife: That would be like wearing someone else’s condom.

–Cannon Beach, Oregon

Overheard by: macdog

American female tourist #1: So what did you say your favorite condoment was ?
American female tourist #2: Trojans!
American male tourist: You kiddin … Mine is Europe, every time!

–Holland America Cruise, Mediterrean Sea

Overheard by: Vennfix

Thug carrying baby strapped to chest: Yo, those lyrics were fucked up, man!
Asian gangsta: Word.

–Bondi Junction, Sydney, Australia

Little girl: What does that sign mean?
Father: That means ‘Pedestrians,’ sweetie.
Little girl: Are we pedestrians?
Father: Yes, we are.
Little girl: Oh… I thought we were Catholics.

–Beach near Amsterdam, North Holland, Netherlands

Overheard by: Daan