Little girl: Guess what Daddy told me, Mommy!
Mother: What’s that?
Little girl: When you sweat, it’s like your skin is peeing all over you!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mandy
- Posted on
- Body parts, Default, Girls, Kids, Moms, Pee, Sensory Experiences, Stupidity, Virginia
A black man cuts in line ahead of two anorexic JAPs.
Anorexic JAP #1: Why are we here again?
Anorexic JAP #2: Ugh, I know! This would never happen back in Boca!
Black man: Eat something, you Jewish popsicles!
Anorexic JAP #1: Did he just ask us to give him a blowjob?
–Deerfield Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Laughing
Aussie queer: I know that guy’s gay. That’s got to be his sister. A minute ago a guy came walking up to him that had the same look — tattoos, short hair… That’s usually a giveaway, right? Monkey’s face.
American queer: Monkey’s face? What’s that mean? Is that another Australian colloquialism?
Aussie queer: No, I was just saying the guy’s face looked like a monkey.
–Bronte Beach, Australia
Girl #1: I don’t get it — I’m in a sweater and I’m cold, but you aren’t and you’re wearing a tank top?
Girl #2: That’s because I’m fat.
Girl #1: Oh… Well, at least you’re honest!
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: Leah
- Posted on
- California, Friends, Questions
Little boy: I don't want to put on sunscreen!
Older sister: Do you want to look like a Nang?
Little boy: What?
Older sister: Well, that's the thing about Nangs, they get burnt!
–Byron Bay, Australia
- Posted on
- Australia, Family, Kids, Physical Appearance, Questions, Sunbathing, Wishes
Girl to friend: He was upset because she wouldn't let him cum on her face!
–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina
- Posted on
- Body parts, Feelings, Friends, Girls, Kink, North Carolina
40-something guy: So, what do you do for a living?
Chick in bikini: Oh, I have a long list of things…
40-something guy: Stripper?
Chick in bikini, hardly offended: Do I look like I have the body of a stripper?
40-something guy: That’s why I asked.
–Palm Beach, Florida
- Posted on
- Assholes, Body parts, Florida, Insults
Little boy, floating on his back: Look at me! I’m the slowest boat in life!
–Valley Falls, Vernon, Connecticut
Overheard by: your parents must be so proud
- Posted on
- Connecticut, Kids, Swimming
