Random, possibly drunk lady at bar: 1, 2, 3, 4, who do we appreciate?
–Thai Restaurant, Honolulu, Hawaii
Bimbette to friend: Hmmm, it smells like the beach…
–Surf & Stillwell Avenue, Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Janelle
Walking vendor: Oh, I know you! I fucked your sister on your front lawn! Your parents have a really bad grub problem. They should take care of that.
–Charlestown, Rhode Island
Girl to boyfriend: All I have to do is finish this project, and I got my degree!
Boyfriend: You know what’s a degree? Your vagina!
–Gulf Coast University, Florida
Knife‐scarred muscle man: Naw, man, that’s it — I’m done. I’m just gonna go home and play checkers and hopefully win. If not, I’m gonna play Scrabble and cheat! I just bought a new thesaurus.
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: donovan
Fat lady screaming: Taneesha! Homegirl, get yo’ ass in here and see this! There be more sand up in my vah‐jay‐jay than the Saharia desert!
–Dressing room, Montego Bay, Jamaica
Overheard by: Erin
Aristocrat: Muscles are trashy.
Overheard by: Spencer
Teenage girl: Aw, look at the little kid. He’s digging a hole to nowhere. How cute!
Teenage boy, completely serious: He’s digging to China, you stupid bitch!
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Marie
20‐something girl, coming out of the ocean: This water’s salty!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
20‐year‐old speaking to friends: Why didn’t you guys take me to hospital?
–Dee Why Beach, Sydney, Australia