What Happens When You Give Your Number Out Too Often

Random, possibly drunk lady at bar: 1, 2, 3, 4, who do we appreciate?

–Thai Restaurant, Honolulu, Hawaii

Bimbette to friend: Hmmm, it smells like the beach…

–Surf & Stillwell Avenue, Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Janelle

Walking vendor: Oh, I know you! I fucked your sister on your front lawn! Your parents have a really bad grub problem. They should take care of that.

–Charlestown, Rhode Island

Girl to boyfriend: All I have to do is finish this project, and I got my degree!
Boyfriend: You know what’s a degree? Your vagina!

–Gulf Coast University, Florida

Knife‐scarred muscle man: Naw, man, that’s it — I’m done. I’m just gonna go home and play checkers and hopefully win. If not, I’m gonna play Scrabble and cheat! I just bought a new thesaurus.

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: donovan

Fat lady screaming: Taneesha! Homegirl, get yo’ ass in here and see this! There be more sand up in my vah‐jay‐jay than the Saharia desert!

–Dressing room, Montego Bay, Jamaica

Overheard by: Erin

Aristocrat: Muscles are trashy.

–Nantucket, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Spencer

Teenage girl: Aw, look at the little kid. He’s digging a hole to nowhere. How cute!
Teenage boy, completely serious: He’s digging to China, you stupid bitch!

–Long Beach, California

Overheard by: Marie

20‐something girl, coming out of the ocean: This water’s salty!

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

20‐year‐old speaking to friends: Why didn’t you guys take me to hospital?

–Dee Why Beach, Sydney, Australia