Lestat and Louis Just Can't Catch a Break.

Old leather-skinned Guy: Where ya been all summer?
Gay couple: Ummm, do we know you?
Old leather-skinned guy: Nah, I just say that to everyone as pale as you this late in the season.

–Gunnison Beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Remember What Happened When You Tried to Do That at the Met?

Mexican tour guide: Virgin women between the ages of 19-24 were sacrificed at the top of the main temple to the sun god–
Bored Brit #1: –What he really means is that all the pretty birds had already been laid so they had to sacrifice the ugly birds for the benefit of the future civilization.
Bored Brit #2: I don’t care. All I want to do is run to the top of that little temple, have a fag, and look at the ocean.

–Cancun, Mexico

If Only There Was a Way We Could Both Get What We Want

Woman #1: Now you see that dude right there? That one in the green swim trunks.
Woman #2: Okaaaaay, yeah, I see him. The one with the red hair that's skimboarding?
Woman #1: Yeah, him. Now, I would so hook up with him. Look at those abs. Don't you just wanna run your hands all over him?
Girl slathered in tanning oil, staring at them: That's my boyfriend.
Woman #2: Oh. How long have you guys been going out?
Girl: Four months. What's it to you?
Woman #1: Just weighing our chances.
Girl: Chances of what?
Woman #2: Sleeping with him.
(girl makes disgusted noise and walks away).
Woman #2: Don' t worry, Shar. She's hideous. We'll follow them when they leave and the next time they go to a club or something, we'll hunt him down and get what we want.
Woman #1: We always do. Wait…which one of us gets to sleep with him? (they glance at each other, saying nothing) I've got a bigger rack.

–Pismo Beach, California

Overheard by: Matilda