Little boy's brother: Why are you screaming?
Little boy: Because I'm Hillary Clinton!
–Drift Inn Beach, Port Clyde, Maine
Overheard by: Sara
I Hear You Lose More Weight That Way
Surfer girl #1, sitting on board in the ocean: I hope it doesn't rain, I really don't want my hair to get wet.
Surfer girl #2: Do you listen to yourself when you speak?
Surfer girl #1: I tune in and out.
–One Mile Beach, Australia
Overheard by: Jess
Like You Hate the Mailman When Daddy's Away?
Kid: Mom, how come the birds are wrestling each other?
Mom: They hate each other, that’s why.
–Children’s Beach, Nantucket, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I know why the caged bird sings
I Told You to Wear Sunblock
15-year-old standing on his friend: Woah, I can totally feel your spinal cord!
–Santa Cruz, California
You Know How That Is, Mom.
Ten year old boy, flipping over on towel: Man, I'm sweating like a fat chick!
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Robin M. StPierre
Unless I Also Got Free Snacks
Short sister: If I were to be in a porno with anyone, I would choose to be in it with you.
Tall sister: I'm not risking my dignity to be in a porno with my sister. No matter how much you're paying me.
–Lake Kalamalka, Vernon, British Columbia, Canadia
Overheard by: Sounds like a good time to me.
…With an Expandable Panel in Front.
Girl on phone: I have good news and bad news! The good news is I'm not pregnant. The bad news is I need new jeans!
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: Grossed out but laughing
But If That's One Of the PTA Requirements…
Overweight mother: I don't want to be a gladiator!
–Ocean City, Maryland
…And a Much Better Pickpocket.
Tall skinny blonde with small Yorkie in her lap: I think she's become a better person since I've been friends with her.
–LaJolla, California
We'll Never Understand Australian Pillowtalk
Girl: How do *you* know the spaceship isn't the entrance to my entertainment centre?
–Adelaide, Australia
Overheard by: T