Drunken man, hitting on woman: Your eyes melt the elastic band in my swim trunks!
–Grand Beach, Manitoba
Overheard by: Tanning @ The beach
Little girl, very afraid of the toilet: No!
Girl’s frustrated mother: Go to the bathroom. It’s not going to hurt you. I promise!
Mother: Please! I’ll be standing right here. Nothing will happen.
Girl: No no no no no!
Mother: Goddammit, Kylie! You can’t hold you poop in forever!
–Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: Millie
Large gay man on bike, calling back to others: Come on, guys! We’re going to miss the Origami!
–Provincetown, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: mj
Mom to #2 girls running from pool to their towel: Get away from that towel! You’re wet, you don’t need no towel!
–Mount Vernon NY
Tourist: So, what’s on the other side of the lake?
Lifeguard: Ummm, that’s not a lake — that’s the Atlantic Ocean.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Little boy: Ew, dad! Look! Dog poo!
Father: No, I think that’s bat poo.
Little boy: Batman’s poo?
–Byron Bay, Australia
Girl #1: Do you want to come run with me?
Girl #2: Yeah, just let me finish this cigarette.
Girl #1: Yeah. I think I’ll have one, too. It loosens up your lungs.
–Dewey Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Steve
Drunk teen guy: If I had a vag, I’d totally stick drugs and shit up there!
–Lavalette, New Jersey
Overheard by: I have one, but I don’t
Teen boy: … And you’re so racist.
Teen girl: I’m really not.
Teen boy: It’s okay. I find it sexy.
–Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Api
Queer to boyfriend: You’d look so hot with a peg leg!
Fire Island Boulevard, Fire Island, New York
Overheard by: Bryan