American girl #1: Does your boyfriend shave his balls?
American girl #2: I didn’t know that men do that.
Nearby British man: Is this what young American girls talk about on their holiday?

–Cassis, France

Woman: Is there anything we haven’t done yet?
Man: I haven’t fucked you with an electric toothbrush.
Woman: You’re sick.

–Santa Cruz, California

Tourist: How do I get to the beach?
Local #1: Get on the 8 and go east.
Tourist: Thanks.
(tourist leaves)
Local #2: You're sending her east.
Local #1: Fuck her, she didn't say which beach.

–Pacific Beach, California

Obnoxiously drunk ho as she leans on bro for support: Don't even think about thinking!

–Pacific Beach, San Diego, California

Dude: That’s why they call me ‘the Titanic.’
Chick: They don’t call you ‘the Titanic.’

–Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: Ana

Nature’s mishap: I can’t take off this towel.
Logical friend: Why? You do have something on under that.
Nature’s mishap: Well, no.
Logical friend: What?! What happened to your trunks? You didn’t lose them in the water, did you?
Nature’s mishap: No…they’re just gone.
Logical friend, to another guy: I can’t keep my eye off of John for one minute, can I, without him doing something stupid?

–Long Beach, New York

Girl throwing rock over her head: Look, Mom! I’m going to build a jail!

–Mentor Headlands Beach, Mentor, Ohio

Overheard by: Pale Kid

30-something mom dragging toddler down path: What do you mean your legs hurt? You're four years old! My legs don't even hurt and I'm like three times your age!

–Bay Shore, Long Island, New York

Teen girl: I guess she has nice boobs, but they’re almost too nice.
Teen boy: Hey, give her a break. She’s only 13.

–Spofford Lake, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Nadia

American: Hey, you're from Australia, right?
Australian: Yeah. I'm just here on holiday.
American: Right. I thought you had an Aussie accent. So you're not familiar with cars, hey? It's all about kangaroos where you come from?
Australian, laughing: Yep… that's right.

–California