Tan chick: But if we go to the spa, I don’t want them to facial my tan away!
–Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts
Overheard by: hb
Tan chick: But if we go to the spa, I don’t want them to facial my tan away!
–Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts
Overheard by: hb
Woman standing waist‐deep in water: My labia has atrophied.
–Crescent Lake, Washington
Overheard by: The water really was that cold.
Vendor: Hey, buy some pizza!
Chick: I don’t like bread.
Vendor: Then just eat the cheese!
Chick: I’m lactose‐intolerant.
Vendor: Fro-zen yo-gurt!
–Venice Beach, California
Trendy Asian chick: I’ve seen a lot of transvestites in my day, but only one with a beard.
Old, well‐dressed Mexican man: He must have forgotten to shave.
–Newport Beach, California
Guy: Hey, beautiful ladies! My name is Sean. I run a company that increases the number of hits your website gets on search engines. I’m sure I could help you in your line of work What do you do?
Woman: I’m a neurosurgeon.
Guy: Hey, it’s good to see that even a brain surgeon has time to head out to the beach. Let me show you how my company can help you get more business.
Woman: I’m sure it can’t.
Guy: Well then, how ’bout I just give you my number?
Woman: How about I just give you a lobotomy?
–Nahant Beach, Massachusetts
Excessively tan man: I don’t trust SPF 14 anyway.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Jo
Lifeguard #1: So, what would you do if somebody came to you with a bat bite?
Lifeguard #2: Ummm… Clean up the wound, I guess.
Lifeguard #1: [Long pause] What would you do for someone with a clown bite?
–Echo Lake, Maine
Queer: It turns out sleeping with a deaf guy is awesome!
–Penn’s Landing, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Chris Newcomer
Little girl: Mommy, what’s that red stuff in your bathing suit?
–Public bathroom, Hilton Head, South Carolina
Overheard by: Arya
Male: Your kid is eating the sunscreen.
Female: It’s okay, he’s bright on the inside. It’s good for him.
–Pacific Beach, California
