Health & Hygiene

Blonde: Hey, can you look at my butt? Do I have blood on my butt?
Guy: Uh, what?
Blonde: I have my period — I just want to make sure I don’t have blood on my butt.
Guy: What? Ew.

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: Sarah

Tourist dad: Great communication, guys. Now I had to walk out here and get my feet all sandy.

–Ogunquit, Maine

Bag lady: Weren't you gonna wash yo' hair?
Hobo: That was las' week!
Bag lady: Well, didja?
Hobo: No.

–Miami, Florida

Overheard by: larry

Teenage girl #1: To make a long story short, she was pretty pissed that they removed the wrong one.
Teenage girl #2: Yeah… But either way it was probably an improvement.

–Huntington Beach, California

40-year-old woman to friend: Yeah, they told me I can only have solid liquids for a week.

–Miami Beach, Florida

Teen girl #1: Remember when Paul and Diane had sex at the beach last year?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, that shit’s so gross. Have you seen this water?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, there’s so much nasty shit in here.
Teen girl #2: That’s why I’ll only have sex at Jones — it’s much cleaner.
Teen girl #1: Def.

–Rockaway, New York

Overheard by: A. D.

Girl #1: Do you want to come run with me?
Girl #2: Yeah, just let me finish this cigarette.
Girl #1: Yeah. I think I’ll have one, too. It loosens up your lungs.

–Dewey Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Steve

40-year-old yuppie man: Yeah! I think a detox kiosk is a great idea!

–La Jolla, California

Overheard by: Confetti Bomb

Petite and topless blonde: When I get my boobs done, I'm gonna like… Walk around school with my tits out all the time.

–South Beach, Miami, Florida

Overheard by: mar

20-year-old speaking to friends: Why didn't you guys take me to hospital?

–Dee Why Beach, Sydney, Australia