Girl: So, like, that Mary was too nice. I swear, if some angel came down and told me I was pregnant with God’s kid, I’d abort it. No immaculate conceptions for me.
–Santa Cruz, California
Girl: So, like, that Mary was too nice. I swear, if some angel came down and told me I was pregnant with God’s kid, I’d abort it. No immaculate conceptions for me.
–Santa Cruz, California
20-something girl #1: So, she’s pregnant?
20-something girl #2: No, I just didn’t want to sit by the soda machine.
–Warren Dunes, Michigan
Obnoxious girl #1: You must just have an abnormal period or something.
Obnoxious girl #2: Yeah, cause you're definitely not pregnant.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: j and kris
Mom: You cut your finger on a Cheetoh?
–Hotel pool, Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Lady in long line for bathroom: Why you wanna change in there when you got sand up your ass?
–Boardwalk, Coney Island, New York
Little girl: Mommy! What is that?
Mother: Careful, honey, that’s a crab.
Little girl: Is that the same thing you said Aunt Kathy had last year?
–Point Pleasant, New Jersey
Overheard by: Biel
Boy, about people stepping on crabs: Looks like I'm not the only one with crab problems.
–Jones Beach, New York
Drunk boy: Anemic? Isn't that when you eat too much white bread?
–Poolside, Perth, Australia
Older rich man: I stopped using soap back in '74. There's a lot to be said for some hot water and a good scrub.
–Destin, Florida
Girl, to her friend who has just dropped a tortilla: Five second rule!
Friend: I am not eating a fucking tortilla off the floor of Tijuana!
Several bystanders: We’re in Rosarito!
–Taco stand, Rosarito, Baja
