Girl #1: I don’t know what it is…I just think…
Girl #2: …He’s too nerdy?
Girl #1: No, but I think he might have herpes.
–Long Beach, California
Girl #1: I don’t know what it is…I just think…
Girl #2: …He’s too nerdy?
Girl #1: No, but I think he might have herpes.
–Long Beach, California
Doctor: This woman came into the ER the other day who had cut herself on the forehead, but instead of using a towel or something to stop the bleeding, she wrapped her head up like seven times with duct tape.
Dork: Holy shit! How did you get it off of her?
Doctor: We had to cut it off in little strips. She looked like a Hershey’s Kiss.
Dork: What, you mean she was black?
Doctor: Yes!
–Crane Beach, Massachusetts
Girl on cell: Sure, we can get together tonight… that sounds good… I won’t do that! Are you TRYING to put my vagina in danger?
–Rockaway Beach, Brooklyn, New York
Girl on cell: Sure, we can get together tonight… that sounds good… I won’t do that! Are you TRYING to put my vagina in danger?
–Rockaway Beach, Brooklyn, New York
Waiter to customer: Sir, you just missed her. She looks hotter. She just got a transplant.
–South Padre Island, Texas
50‐something woman: My pee was sort of yellowish today!
Younger friend: (nods earnestly)
–Mission Valley, San Diego, California
Overheard by: Thank Goodness!
Guy: I just gave birth to a beach ball, and my wrist is sore.
Girl: It must work differently for guys.
–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Frenchie
White girl, reviewing nude pictures of Hispanic girl: That’s why I would hate to be darker. Her vagina looks dirty.
–Deerfield Beach, Florida
Jock: Don’t diabetics have to check their pH level?
–Long Beach, New York
Mom (exasperatedly): Come on children, you guys going to give me heart failure!
Six‐year‐old: You going to give yourself heart failure, cause you wouldn’t leave us alone.
–Bridgetown, Barbados
