Young woman on cell: Okay, well, I’m leaving before he sees the blood.
–Minnetonka Beach, Minnesota
Overheard by: buddy
Young woman on cell: Okay, well, I’m leaving before he sees the blood.
–Minnetonka Beach, Minnesota
Overheard by: buddy
Older lady #1: You know they have a hot stone massage?
Older lady #2: Really?
Older lady #1: Yeah! It sounds really nice.
Older lady #2: Maybe we should get them! Then we can get shirts that say “I got stoned in Miami”
Older lady #1, laughing: We could.
Older lady #2: No, but I actually want to get them and wear that shirt.
–Elemis Spa, Miami Beach, Florida
Man #1: Hey, man, what you doing?
Man #2: Oh, nothing. Just watching this whore getting a customer across the street.
Man #1: Huh? How do you know she’s a whore?
Man #2: ‘Cause we’ve been standing here for about an hour and she’s been leaning against different cars talking, getting in, leaving, and coming back. Besides, she’s dressed like a whore.
Man #3: So are half the people here.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Les
Guy: Yo, where's that sunscreen at?
Girl: You don't need any sunscreen, we're black, we have a natural SPF factor of 8.
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: KL
Drunk dude: My girlfriend said I could have butt sex with a hooker at the bachelor party if I promised never to bring up butt sex again when I get home.
–Brigantine Beach, New Jersey
Jock #1: So I heard about this champion high school wrestler on Real Sports who has no legs.
Jock #2: That’s awesome. Good for him. I never won a championship in high school.
Punk, walking by: You know what’s better then being a state championship wrestler with no legs?
Both jocks: What?
Punk: Having legs!
–Pearl Street, Beach Haven, New Jersey
Overheard by: andrew dean
Woman to husband, pointing at fat girl: Is she pregnant?
Husband: I don't know.
Woman: I'll ask Beth, Beth knows everything.
–Centennial Beach, British Columbia, Canadia
Biker's lady to biker: He had this plastic bag of poison ivy and was rubbing it on his face…
–Point Pleasant, New Jersey
Worried teen: Oh no! The janitor lady cleaned up my tooth!
–Howard Park Beach, Tarpon Springs, Florida
Overheard by: CorLiz
Heavy sweaty chick, yelling across store at friends: My sweat smells like beer!
–Surf Shop, Laguna Beach, California
