Health & Hygiene

Ditzy blonde: Oh my god, Stuart, there is something gooey on my towel!
Stuart: Where did you get the towel from?
Ditzy blonde: Next to your bed.
Stuart: Oh, um…it must be hair gel!

–Terrigal, Australia

Teenage girl to friend: Ew! You just slapped your condensation on me!

–Block Island, Rhode Island

Overheard by: diorette

Teenage girl to friend: Ew! You just slapped your condensation on me!

–Block Island, Rhode Island

Overheard by: diorette

Guy pointing out girl with tampon string hanging out of her bikini: Dude, that chick is either on her period, or she just fucked a tea bag.

–Bronte Beach, Sydney, Australia

Overheard by: Hamish The Li

Mother to child, as they leave the beach: You're like walkin', talkin' birth control.

–Brownie Lake, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Erin Christey

Drunk girl to drunker boyfriend: It's better to throw up than give up!
Hobo: Respect the pussy!

–Atlantic City, New Jersey

Overheard by: AlwaysGoodAdvice

Kid, skateboarding in parking lot next door: I think those gummy worms gave me diarrhea.

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: Jen

Beach lady #1: Oh girls, last night I was watching 16 and Pregnant.
Beach lady #2: My daughter watches that. Well, I think it is stupid! That would suck for those girls.
Beach lady #1: How stupid are these kids these days? That's why my daughter uses safe sex.
Beach lady #2: Wait, weren't you pregnant at 16?

–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Emily

Hairy man with large dog, to four young women: Are you here for the day?
Hot woman: No, we're just leaving. We have an appointment.
Hairy man: Really? What? Mani…pedi?
Hot woman: No. Sailing in Sag.

–Fying Point Beach, Southampton, New York

Overheard by: lolo

Little girl: I’m Italian, so I don’t get sick.

–Mashpee, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Jill