Health & Hygiene

Chick: Fuck, I stepped on a piece of glass!
Dude: Was it beach glass?
Chick: I don’t know… We’re at the beach… Probably.

–Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: monkey

Guy: Two for Wanted.
Pregnant girl: You don't need to buy my ticket. I brought money.
Guy: It's the least I could do, after knocking you up.
Pregnant girl: Good point.

–Cape May, New Jersey

Tourist mom on cell: He’s not gonna be brain damaged! It wasn’t my fault — it was only two hours!

–Point Pleasant Boardwalk, New Jersey

Overheard by: bonzo

Chick on cell: Yeah, don’t you wash your hands after you go to the bathroom? Ewww, why am I dating you?

–Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: hannie bananie

American girl, looking at girl with shaved head: Oh my God, I feel soo bad for her.
American friend #1: ‘Cause she has cancer?
American friend #2: Or she’s a dyke.
American girl: Either way, it sucks!

–Herzliya Beach, Herzliya, Israel

Ditzy blonde: Oh my god, Stuart, there is something gooey on my towel!
Stuart: Where did you get the towel from?
Ditzy blonde: Next to your bed.
Stuart: Oh, um…it must be hair gel!

–Terrigal, Australia

Teenage girl to friend: Ew! You just slapped your condensation on me!

–Block Island, Rhode Island

Overheard by: diorette

Teenage girl to friend: Ew! You just slapped your condensation on me!

–Block Island, Rhode Island

Overheard by: diorette

Guy pointing out girl with tampon string hanging out of her bikini: Dude, that chick is either on her period, or she just fucked a tea bag.

–Bronte Beach, Sydney, Australia

Overheard by: Hamish The Li

Mother to child, as they leave the beach: You're like walkin', talkin' birth control.

–Brownie Lake, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Erin Christey