Teen to promoter throwing Halloween candy: Bitch, gimme somma dem fuckin' dots!
–West Palm Beach, Florida
Teen to promoter throwing Halloween candy: Bitch, gimme somma dem fuckin' dots!
–West Palm Beach, Florida
Ugly overweight girl in unflattering bikini: Guys don't like you anymore after you've had sex with them.
–Belmar Beach, New Jersey
Stoned girl #1: You know what's awesome? If you look up, you see the moon and the stars, and it's like you're looking at space.
Stoned girl #2 (munching Parmesan crackers): Whoooaaa.
–Saint Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: i was stoned and it sounded cool at the time, too.
Blonde in bikini #1: She said she made eye contact with it three times.
Older man reading magazine: It was a five-year-old. That's what kids do.
Blonde in bikini #2: It was definitely not a five-year-old.
–Scarborough Beach, Rhode Island
Girl, drinking spiked hot chocolate: Oh my god, it's like Jesus died in my mouth!
–Arcata, California
Teen girl #1: Pick a vegetable!
Teen girl #2: I know mine — tomato!
Teen girl #3: Dumbass, a tomato’s a fruit. Choose again.
Teen girl #2: Ginger!
Teen girl #1: Should I pick an easier category?
–Emerald Isle, North Carolina
Drunk guy: I’m scared of you… You look dangerous, like you could beat somebody up.
Drunk girl: What? Why?
Drunk guy: It’s the headband, you look like you know karate.
Drunk girl: I don’t know karate, I know yoga.
–Beaufort, South Carolina
Overheard by: Wish I had that logic….
Guy: Why did you tell *Veronica that I had a small dick?
Girl: Because you do.
Guy: You could have at least told her I know how to use it.
Girl: You don’t!
–Discovery Bay, California
Betty Ford dropout: I hate it when you close your eyes and you feel the alcohol, but when you open them you don't.
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Danny