John Merrick Works Out Obsessively

Girl #1: Look at that guy's head. It's so weirdly shaped.
Girl #2: Why does it do that at the back? Like, what's with the way it folds at the back?
Girl #1: Oooh, he has some nicely shaped biceps, though! Wow!
Girl #2: Yeah, he makes it obvious by putting his arms up like that to distract from his head.
Girl #1: He's totally doing that.
Girl #2: He's sitting there going, “hey ladies, don't look at my oddly shaped head. Look at my nicely shaped biceps instead.” (pause) Hey, that rhymed.

–Long Beach, California

Overheard by: Rachel

Posted on January 5, 2025
Body parts, California, Girls, Physical Appearance, Weirdness

God: Who Are You Kidding? I Get This Stuff at Costco

Girl: It’s so nice out today. I love natural wind.

–Hilton Head Island, South Carolina

Overheard by: Lindsay

Posted on January 4, 2025
Compliments, Default, Girls, Idiots, Nature, North Carolina, Stupidity, Weather, Words

Insert Vibrating Ring Joke Here

Teen boy, to anorexic teen girl #1: Why do you keep your phone in your thong?
Anorexic teen girl #2: Well, where else is she going to put it? She has no boobs.

–Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sam

Posted on January 3, 2025
Comebacks, Gadgets, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Rack, Skinny people, Teens

Newsflash: Pale, Fat Plague Strikes East Coast!

Girl #1: There are so many pale, fat guys here in Speedos.
Girl #2: It’s like they don’t care.
Girl #1: I know.
Girl #2: It’s so not like this in America.

–Waikiki, Hawaii

Posted on December 29, 2024
Geography, Girls, Gripes, Hawaii, Physical Appearance, Stupidity

The Lead Singer Picked Me Up in a Bar Last Night

Teen bimbette: So I heard about this new band that just came out. The lead singer is really cute… they’re called The Doors.

–South California

Posted on December 22, 2024
About celebrities, Bimbettes, California, Girls, Idiots, Music, Physical Appearance, Stupidity

Tell You What: Give Your Money to Me, and Then You'll Have Genuine Motivation to Steal

Jersey girl: Why do we have to be all ghetto and start stealing stuff when we have money?

–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: alison

Posted on December 17, 2024
Default, Girls, Gripes, Money, New Jersey, Questions, Race

A New Dimension to the Walk of Shame

Young woman on cell: Okay, well, I’m leaving before he sees the blood.

–Minnetonka Beach, Minnesota

Overheard by: buddy

Posted on December 14, 2024
Girls, Health & Hygiene, Minnesota, On the phone, Time

Some People Collect Seashells…

Girl to two guys: Do you guys have a spare cigarette?
Guy #1: Yeah, here ya go. (gives her a cigarette)
Girl to guy #2: How about you?

–St. Kilda Beach, Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: lorax

Posted on December 6, 2024
Australia, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Smoking, Weirdness

Over There's Where Jesus Rested with the Cross

Gangsta kid to girl, on date: You see this spot right here? This is where Forrest Gump…stopped runnin'!
Girl, in disbelief: No way!

–Ocean City Boardwalk, Maryland

Overheard by: Tyler

Posted on December 2, 2024
Girls, Guys, Maryland, Movies, Questions

No, Just My Mom

Dude: Hey, where do you girls go for fun? [They ignore him.] You’re just gonna ignore me? Not a ‘Fuck you’? Nothing? Bitch!
Chick: You kiss your dick with that mouth?

–Montego Bay, Jamaica

Posted on November 29, 2024
Assholes, Central America, Default, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Insults, Questions

Girls