Awww, Gay

White trash girl to friend: Whatever, I'm on my period, so I'm not even worried about it.
Gay male friend: You can still get pregnant on your period, I think.
(awkward silence)
White trash girl, laughing: You are such a fucking retard.

–Wildwood, New Jersey

Overheard by: Ryan L

Blond woman, wrapping towel around her waist: I feel like my thighs are too fat to be at the beach.
Gay friend: Well, shit, now they look like they're in a sausage casing. Downgrade.

–Palmetto, Boca Raton, Florida

Queer: Josh! If you don’t put your ass away right now, I’m gonna fuck it!

–Fire Island Pines, Brookhaven, New York

Overheard by: Your Buddy in Blue

Queer #1: Oh my god, I used to eat Little Debbies all the time! I would have a Little Debbie and a Coke for breakfast every day.
Queer #2, intensely: I fucking loved Little Debbies.

–Publix, South Beach, Miami, Florida

Loud gay man: Oh my gosh! Last time I saw you I was fucking your ass!

–Hillcrest, California

Overheard by: Brit-ta-nee

Gay boy 1: No! I will not tell people you have herpes when you don't!
Gay boy 2: Fine, whatever! Only a real friend would, anyway!

–Boca Raton, Florida

Overheard by: Michael

Drunk hobo to group of gay guys: That's why I love South Beach. It's gay, gay, gay!

–Lincoln Road, Florida

Overheard by: David

Large gay man on bike, calling back to others: Come on, guys! We're going to miss the Origami!

–Provincetown, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: mj

Crazy bag lady: I’m Ozzy’s mommy!
Queer: No, you’re not! You’re a fucking gross woman who carries around used clothes and a knapsack full of tissues! Plus, Ozzy sucks!
Crazy bag lady: Fag!

–St. Petersburg, Florida

Gay man to another: You are to florist shops as others are to tattoo parlors.

–St. Michaels, Maryland

Overheard by: I am to shoe stores