Food

Stoned surfer: I decided that I won't eat fish anymore, because if I don't eat them, they won't eat me.

–Long Beach Island, New Jersey

Guy: Why do you have a wooden fork?
Girl: First of all, because it's biodegradable; and second, it's hard to eat a cupcake.

–Sprinkles, Newport Beach, California

Overheard by: M

Chick #1: Do you want your sandwich?
Chick #2: Nah, it hasn’t been refrigerated.
Chick #1: Well, it’s just lunch meat, it’s not real meat anyways.
Chick #2: Yea…

–Lake Tahoe, California

20-something woman #1: She was bitching about how there was nothing to eat in the house, and so Bob* said, “you could go to the store,” and she said, “I don't go to the store on my vacation. There are two things I don't do on vacation: go to the store and cook.”
20-something woman #2: What is she even on vacation from? Sitting on her ass?

–Holden Beach, North Carolina

Man with no pants to girls leaving bar: Leaving so soon?
Girl: Uh, yeah…we're hungry. We're gonna go get some food.
Man with no pants: Why? There's plenty of sausages right here!

–Garden of Eden Bar, Key West, Florida

Overheard by: K

Man: It was really impressive to do that with vegetables.

–Weymouth, Dorset, United Kingdom

Overheard by: Carolyn & Clare

Old lady to another: She would do anything for a marshmallow!

–Seaside, Oregon

Overheard by: Arianne

Girl #1: Hey, see those guys we went out on the date with that time?
Girl #2: Where?
Girl #1: Up there with the big-ass cooler and grill. I told you we shoulda gone out on another date with them. We coulda been up there drinkin’ beer and eating hot dog right now.

–Cabbage Beach, Paradise Island, Bahamas

Overheard by: d

12-year-old girl: Mom! She’s throwing up pickles in the pool!

–Ixtapa, Mexico

Small boy, carrying bag: Fudge! The wonderful joy of fudge!

–Bethany Beach, Delaware