Food

Drunk woman at bar: I mean, we had so much in common, you know? He liked red meat, I liked red meat… It was a good relationship.

–Long Beach, California

Girl to friend: I’ve been so tired and hungry lately.
Friend: Maybe you’re pregnant.
Girl: That’s not funny at all. I’m not pro‐abortion or anything, but I’d have to terminate that quick.

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: Brittany

Drunk girl: Wow, those cookies are sooo big! How do they do that?

–Highway 98 East, Destin, Florida

Overheard by: restaurant bitch

Asian guy: We should get some fish and chips.
Asian girl: Ooh, I love tartar sauce. It’s my favorite continent.
Asian guy: What?

–Steveston Pier, Richmond, British Columbia

50‐something woman: I want the tiramisu for my birthday cake!
Husband: Well, the restaurant says they only have individual portions, not a big thing. That would be expensive for eleven people.
50‐something woman: Well, I don’t want the key lime pie, that’s fifth on a list of five options.
20‐something woman #1: Well, why don’t we get a pie for everyone else, and a tiramisu for you?
50‐something woman: I want everyone to eat what I’m eating in commemoration of my birthday!
20‐something woman #2: Oh my god. I’m leaving.

–Holden Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Audrey

Over‐tanned lady to beach bum eating plum: I would rather drink shower water than eat unwashed fruit.

–Ala Moana Center, Honolulu, Hawaii

Overheard by: Jade Buddha

Young male Australian tourist on cell: We’ve already been to a service station and a McDonald’s, which is different.

–Rotorua, New Zealand

Overheard by: exactly how different to McDonald’s in Australia?

Vendor: Hey, buy some pizza!
Chick: I don’t like bread.
Vendor: Then just eat the cheese!
Chick: I’m lactose‐intolerant.
Vendor: Fro-zen yo-gurt!

–Venice Beach, California

20‐something girl: We can’t make Eric a “sorry you got raped” cake anymore.

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Brother: I was talking to that couple from Montana, and they said they eat cattails.
Sister: I thought they were vegetarians.

–Puno, Peru

Overheard by: 451