Man #1, stopping at free sample of fuge: Ohhh, fudge.
Man #2: Damn! It has nuts in it.
Man #1: I like nuts of all kinds.
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Man #1, stopping at free sample of fuge: Ohhh, fudge.
Man #2: Damn! It has nuts in it.
Man #1: I like nuts of all kinds.
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Perfect guido #1, intensely: Yo, bro, there is no way dat your granmudda’s meatballs are better dan my granmudda’s meatballs.
Perfect guido #2: Alright, bro, I’ll give you dat much. But my granmudda’s marinara sauce will blow your granmudda’s outta da saucepan.
–Jones Beach, New York
Tween #1: So, like, what did you eat in Africa?
Tween #2: Like rice and stuff.
Tween #1: Like white rice or brown rice?
Tween #2: White rice.
Tween #1: Like, ew. You can get so fat from that! Oh my God, is that why those Africans in those picture you have, have huge bellies?
Tween #2: You are beyond retarded!
–Second Beach, Newport, Rhode Island
Honeymooning hubby: Honey, do you want a drink?
Absentminded wifey, reading: Sure.
Honeymooning hubby: Do you want a sandwich?
Absentminded wifey: Whatever.
Honeymooning hubby, exasperated: Will you give me a massage?
Absentminded wifey: Whatever.
Attractive blonde stranger: I’ll give you a massage, hottie.
Absentminded wifey, looking up from her book: Back off, he’s mine [she goes back to her book].
Honeymooning hubby, whispering to blonde: So… Can I meet you later, then?
–Hilton Head, South Carolina
Overheard by: eager ears
Girl to surfer boy: If your dick is big as this ice cream I'll throw the ice cream in the trash and lick your dick!
–Santa Monica, California
Lady: I am completely at peace with my salad.
–Manteo, North Carolina
Overheard by: Sarah J
Burger eater to another: I ate so much salad yesterday I've got lettuce confetti flying out of my butt.
–Kailua-Kona, Hawaii
Overheard by: check please!
Wife: Do you want any sauce?
Husband: No, just ketchup for my fries.
Wife: Ketchup *is* a sauce!
Husband: No, tartar sauce is a sauce. Ketchup is just ketchup.
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: ISPgypsy
Tour coach driver, gesturing to McDonald's restaurant further down the road: Aaaaand coming up ahead are the golden arches of the American embassy.
–TehanuNui, Nelson, New Zealand
Overheard by: Makenzie
