Girl to surfer boy: If your dick is big as this ice cream I'll throw the ice cream in the trash and lick your dick!
–Santa Monica, California
Girl to surfer boy: If your dick is big as this ice cream I'll throw the ice cream in the trash and lick your dick!
–Santa Monica, California
Lady: I am completely at peace with my salad.
–Manteo, North Carolina
Overheard by: Sarah J
Burger eater to another: I ate so much salad yesterday I've got lettuce confetti flying out of my butt.
–Kailua-Kona, Hawaii
Overheard by: check please!
Wife: Do you want any sauce?
Husband: No, just ketchup for my fries.
Wife: Ketchup *is* a sauce!
Husband: No, tartar sauce is a sauce. Ketchup is just ketchup.
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: ISPgypsy
Tour coach driver, gesturing to McDonald's restaurant further down the road: Aaaaand coming up ahead are the golden arches of the American embassy.
–TehanuNui, Nelson, New Zealand
Overheard by: Makenzie
Mom: You cut your finger on a Cheetoh?
–Hotel pool, Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Boyfriend, offering a sip of shake: Here, have some.
Girlfriend: No, I’m okay.
Boyfriend: Have some, it’s protein!
Girlfriend: No! I’ll just suck your dick later.
Boyfriend: [Silence.]
–South Beach Florida
Fat guy on cell: I'm not interested. Throw my food at the dog.
–Rhyl, Wales
Overheard by: Jake
40-something guy: That must be like an all-you-can-eat salad bar of STDs!
60-something guy: She’s a twin.
–Pancake House, Redondo Beach, California
