Mom (to son #1): That's not all you're carrying! Take more. (to son #2) Good job, genius, you got sand in the cooler! (to both sons) Say goodbye to the beach, you'll never see it again.
–Belmar, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mikey
Mom (to son #1): That's not all you're carrying! Take more. (to son #2) Good job, genius, you got sand in the cooler! (to both sons) Say goodbye to the beach, you'll never see it again.
–Belmar, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mikey
Adorable little girl: Daddy, I want a hamburger!
Bitter dad: No, hamburgers will make you fat. Do you want to be fat like your mommy? Is that what you want?
–3rd Street Promenade, Santa Monica, California
Attractive dad in front of giant sting ray swim tank: There will always be times in your life where you will have fear, but when you do it anyway, it makes it easier the next time. Okay, buddy?
Skinny eight-year-old with snot dripping down his nose: (nods)
Attractive dad: Okay, let's go.
–Discovery Cove, Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: I was scared
Grandmother to two small children near cliff: Only one of you at a time, I don't want to be responsible for two small children falling off the cliff.
–Fort Williams Park, Maine
Niece: I can’t find my underwear!
Uncle: Maybe it’s with my wedding ring.
–Rio Del Mar Beach, California
Woman, putting lotion on man's back: How long have your parents been married?
Man: A long time: 25 or 30 years…
Woman: So your parents got married after you were born?
Man: No.
Woman: But you're 40! Okay, now you're scaring me. I just spilled half the bottle of lotion on your back. That would be 3.5 ounces. I'd explain it to you but you wouldn't understand.
–Fort De Soto Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Ishkabibble
Daughter: Thanks for giving me an aneurysm, Mom.
Mother, under her breath: I wish I’d given you an aneurysm.
Daughter: What?
Mother: Nothing, dear.
–Sea Isle City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Cols
Perfect guido #1, intensely: Yo, bro, there is no way dat your granmudda’s meatballs are better dan my granmudda’s meatballs.
Perfect guido #2: Alright, bro, I’ll give you dat much. But my granmudda’s marinara sauce will blow your granmudda’s outta da saucepan.
–Jones Beach, New York
Family man #1: So, all three of your kids will be in college at the same time? That will be expensive.
Family man #2: Yeah, so I hope that they are all talented so they can get scholarships or they are all so dumb that they can’t get into college.
–Robert Moses Beach, New York
Girl on bike to family on bikes, loudly: I said my arse hurts and he said “mine doesn't, I'm good at taking it!”
–Rottnest Island, Western Australia
Overheard by: Victoria
