Family

Girl to friend: I've been so tired and hungry lately.
Friend: Maybe you're pregnant.
Girl: That's not funny at all. I'm not pro-abortion or anything, but I'd have to terminate that quick.

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: Brittany

Girl that won't stop talking: This looks a lot like my mother's house, but the colors are more tropical because she's Puerto Rican.

–North Florida

Overheard by: Amused

Girl: He gets so tan!
Guy: I tell you, you look at his hand and you’d think that man was black!
Girl: You know, his mom’s husband is black. That’s why we tease him about that so much.
Guy: Really? His step-dad is black?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: Wouldn’t you be pissed?
Girl: Yeah, well, his mom treats him like shit anyway.

Brief pause.

Girl: I’m rethinking the doctor thing.
Guy: Really?
Girl: Yeah, surgeon or oncologist or whatever I become. I wouldn’t be able to have a family.

–Rehoboth, Delaware

Overheard by: kristen

Daughter: Mom, why do you have to go to the bathroom already? We just went a few minutes ago!
Mother: I don't know… I guess I'm like a dog, I have to leave my scent everywhere…

–Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Daughter: Mom, why do you have to go to the bathroom already? We just went a few minutes ago!
Mother: I don't know… I guess I'm like a dog, I have to leave my scent everywhere…

–Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Young boy: Your uncle peed on Mikey last night!

–Santa Monica Pier, Santa Monica, California

Mother, loudly: Oh my God, get over here! Turn around!
Teen daughter: What! What’s on me?!
Mother: A stretch mark! That’s what! Right there on your hip! You have got to lay off the chips! We are on vacation here. You shouldn’t be stress-eating!
Teen daughter: Mom! Shut up! People can hear you.
Mother: No, no one is listening, and besides, they can all see it, too.
Kayaking instructor: Does everyone have their life vests on? Good now I’d like you all to pair up, and for this first run we are going to pair up with someone you don’t know.
Daughter: Thank God!
Mother: What?

–Bayville, New Jersey

Little girl, running happily: Mom, dad!
Little boy: Guess what we caught!
Both, in perfect unison: Crabs!

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: the girl who received dirty looks from the parents for laughing

Lady in vehicle on cell: I mean, she wants to know everything, and it's really getting annoying, I'm like “mom, Jesus Christ, hey, I took a shit today, you want to know if it floated or if it sank?”

–Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Elise

Little boy: I don't want to put on sunscreen!
Older sister: Do you want to look like a Nang?
Little boy: What?
Older sister: Well, that's the thing about Nangs, they get burnt!

–Byron Bay, Australia