Little boy, pointing to large drawing of a penis in the sand: Oh my God, that is disgusting. Dad, look, it’s disgusting!! Dad, do you know what it is?
Dad: Yes.
Mom walks over.
Mom: What is it?
–Popham Beach, Maine
Overheard by: Fitzy
Little boy, pointing to large drawing of a penis in the sand: Oh my God, that is disgusting. Dad, look, it’s disgusting!! Dad, do you know what it is?
Dad: Yes.
Mom walks over.
Mom: What is it?
–Popham Beach, Maine
Overheard by: Fitzy
Daughter to mother: You yell at me for saying ‘munted,’ ‘fucked,’ ‘wasted,’ and ‘shafted,’ because you say they all mean ‘having sex.’ So for the love of god, when you tell that story will you stop saying you were ‘stiffed’ by an old lady?!
–New Zealand
Man on cell: Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady.
–Marine World, Vallejo, California
Overheard by: Keena Burt
Teenage girl: I hate my sister so much… She's so fat! And I just really hate fat people.
–Cedar Creek Beach, Nebraska
Guy: And the guy is complaining about the price of birth control! “Forty dollars?” he's saying… “For that price, I'd rather have a baby!”
–Long Beach, Long Island
Overheard by: Colleen
Boy with pretty eyes: So I told her “porch monkey” is a racial slur.
Girl with squinty eyes: Yeah?
Boy with pretty eyes: And she says she doesn't know anybody named Rachel.
Girl with squinty eyes: Yes she does, her cousin's name is Rachel.
–St. Pete Beach, Florida
Little girl, no longer waist-deep in ocean: Mommy, smell my finger.
–Daytona Beach, Florida
Mom, while burying her four-year-old son in the sand: Yo, did you hear what he just said? He said “don't pat too hard or my balls will explode!”
–Rockaway Beach, New York
Overheard by: That's why I'm scared to have kids
Mom in bikini: She's had an on-and-off boyfriend since september, and it's been nothing but drama. I'm trying to get her to stop answering his calls. He's trouble. He overdosed in October and he hasn't passed a class in four years. One time he called her cell phone from a number that wasn't his, and she asked whose phone he was calling from, and he said, “your house phone.” He sneaked into our house when no one was home!
Mom in one-piece: Maybe you should think about a restraining order.
Mom in bikini: Well…
(phone rings: it's the daughter)
Mom in bikini: No! I told you not to answer his calls! And do not call him back! If you call him back, his mother will go to the police! She called me today and told me they're thinking about taking out a restraining order against you!
–Belmar, New Jersey
