Family

Little boy: Mommy, do you know this?
Mom: What, honey?
Little boy: Do you know this?
Mom: What, honey? I know everything.
Little boy: You're crazy.
Mom: Yeah, I knew this.

–Provincetown, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Just waiting for a lobster roll

Adult son to mom: Thanks for babysitting the kids, ma. You know why I love you?
Rockin granny: Cuz I breastfed you for 12 years?
Ten year old grandson: Oh my god!

–Clearwater Beach, Florida

Woman #1: Oh my goodness, you should see your daughter! It looks like she’s been stabbed; it’s the cutest thing.
Woman #2: Oh, really?
Woman #1: Yes! She’s been eating cherries, and the juice has run all down her front and all over her hands. It looks like she has blood all over her–it’s adorable!

–Old Orchard Beach, Maine

Overheard by: shawshank

Mother to child, as they leave the beach: You're like walkin', talkin' birth control.

–Brownie Lake, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Erin Christey

Little boy: Why is that woman walking faster than us?
Grandfather (frustrated): I have no explanation for this!

–Sauble Beach, Canadia

Overheard by: Totally walking faster than them

Beach lady #1: Oh girls, last night I was watching 16 and Pregnant.
Beach lady #2: My daughter watches that. Well, I think it is stupid! That would suck for those girls.
Beach lady #1: How stupid are these kids these days? That's why my daughter uses safe sex.
Beach lady #2: Wait, weren't you pregnant at 16?

–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Emily

Large mother to screaming child: Stop that screeching or I'll cut out your larynx!
Large mother to large sister: Where did she learn to screech like that?
Large sister: I don't know, ask the one in the wheelchair. (points to grandmother in wheelchair)

–Ocean City, Maryland

Young boy to father: Dad, do you know those girls?
Father: No!
Young boy: Oh, 'cause you keep staring at them…

–Lake McConaughy, Nebraska

Five-year-old (yelling across beach: Mommy, if you pooped out a baby, would I faint?

–Ocean Beach III, New Jersey

Man on cell: Yeah, Paul* and I aren't friends anymore. He used my credit card and owes me $4000. Plus, it probably doesn't help that I've been having sex with his mom… repeatedly.

–Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Amused Passenger