Canoeing dad, looking back: I think we lost William entirely.
Canoeing guy: Who’s Tyler?
–Blue River, Milltown, Indiana
Brother: I was talking to that couple from Montana, and they said they eat cattails.
Sister: I thought they were vegetarians.
–Puno, Peru
Overheard by: 451
Male: Your kid is eating the sunscreen.
Female: It’s okay, he’s bright on the inside. It’s good for him.
–Pacific Beach, California
Little boy: Mom, who can I bury in the sand?
Mom: Bury yuh fathuh. Start wit’ his mouth.
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Mother: Stop flicking your ear.
Tween son: I can’t. My ear is so awesome.
Mother: You’re so retarded sometimes.
Tween son: Like dad?
–Orchard Beach, The Bronx, New York
Overheard by: Pinks
Father: Okay okay okay, let’s go now.
Tween daughter #1: Why? We have company! Can’t we stay?
Father: I have no coverage here. I have calls to make. I have to work. No work, no play, no food, no house, no fun, no beach, no vacation.
Tween daughter #2: No beach?
Father: How do you think this beach got here? My hard work.
–Nauset Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: amazed observer
Mother to daughter reading a running magazine: Which is harder, running on a treadmill…
Daughter, yelling: Your mum!
–Tampa, Florida
Crabby mom to sugared‐up five‐year‐old: Fine! Tell your daddy I said you were shark bait. Just please sit down or, I swear to God, you will be!
–South Padre Island, Texas
Overheard by: airwav
Angry father, trying to climb into boat with son: Turn off the fucking engine, man! I’ve got a fucking five‐year‐old here! Jesus, use your fucking head!
–The Hamptons, New York
