Family

Beach lady #1: Oh girls, last night I was watching 16 and Pregnant.
Beach lady #2: My daughter watches that. Well, I think it is stupid! That would suck for those girls.
Beach lady #1: How stupid are these kids these days? That's why my daughter uses safe sex.
Beach lady #2: Wait, weren't you pregnant at 16?

–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Emily

Large mother to screaming child: Stop that screeching or I'll cut out your larynx!
Large mother to large sister: Where did she learn to screech like that?
Large sister: I don't know, ask the one in the wheelchair. (points to grandmother in wheelchair)

–Ocean City, Maryland

Young boy to father: Dad, do you know those girls?
Father: No!
Young boy: Oh, 'cause you keep staring at them…

–Lake McConaughy, Nebraska

Five-year-old (yelling across beach: Mommy, if you pooped out a baby, would I faint?

–Ocean Beach III, New Jersey

Man on cell: Yeah, Paul* and I aren't friends anymore. He used my credit card and owes me $4000. Plus, it probably doesn't help that I've been having sex with his mom… repeatedly.

–Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Amused Passenger

Teenage surfer to dad: You're too old to get high!

–La Jolla, California

Drunk dude to another: Yeah, my dad has really big thighs!

–Jacksonville Beach, Florida

Overheard by: i dont know

Dad to kid: You guys want to rent a canoe?
Kid: Canoe!? That's super hard, even on the Wii, much less in real water!

–Lake Calhoun Beach, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: caveman

Tourist mom to kids, upon seeing dolphins: Get out of the water! Go, now! Get out! [After seeing everyone else getting in and swimming out.] Never mind, get back in.

–Treasure Island, Florida

Overheard by: Native Floridian

Dude stopping intense make-out: Um, you’re not gonna tell anyone about this…
Chick: What?!
Dude: Well, I mean, look at you…
Chick: I’m going to tell your mom about this.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: Mik