Women

Tan woman: Did you pack a swimsuit?
Pale woman: Yes, I always do.
Tan woman: So you'll go to the beach?
Pale woman: I have packed the same suit for my last five summer vacations, it still has the tags on it. What do you think the odds are?

–Emerald Isle Ferry, Michigan

Overheard by: i'm surrounded by water, isn't that enough

Woman #1: How are you, Sam? I haven't seen you forever.
Woman #2: We need to catch up more often. How are you?
Woman #1: Don't even ask. Only a couple of weeks ago I realized I had crabs, and just yesterday I found out my daughter has herpes. (sighs)
Woman #2: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. At least you're getting some action.

–Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: Marissa

Woman in public toilets: Relax, goddamn it!

–Jetty Road, Australia

Old lady: I think he's a delightful young man and so is she.

–Manteo, North Carolina

Overheard by: Sarah J.

Middle-aged woman: It's a relationship.
Younger woman: It's a bumper sticker.

–Laupahoihoi, Hawaii

Overheard by: Sunny

Man on phone: How about I stick my penis in your vagina?
Woman on the other end of the phone, loudly: How bout…no.

–Pismo Beach, California

Overheard by: couldn't contain

Quick-walking woman leaving voice mail: Hey, it’s me. I need you to call me as soon as you get this. I have never wanted to chop someone’s dick off as much I as I do right now. He is a low-down lying piece of shit, and I hope he fucking dies. I mean, a fucking tractor-trailer could run his fucking sonofabitch ass over and I would be perfectly fine. Okay, talk to you soon, I love you!

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Woman to girl: These girls are acting like such dogs!
Girl to woman: Well then, meeeeeaoww, bitch!

–Revere Beach, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sheena Quintyne

Man outside single bathroom door: Wolf breath, what are you doing in there?
Woman, from inside bathroom: What the fuck do you think I'm doing in here? What the fuck do you do in the bathroom?
Man outside bathroom: Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to.

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Lisa Mavinelli

Loud man on cell, walking across bridge: So I just said, “I want it all! I want to see it all!”
60-year-old woman to teenage granddaughter: That's what she said.

–Balboa, California