Guy: Um, do you know where the water is?
Lady: Cold.
–Rockaway Beach, New York
40-year-old woman to friend: Yeah, they told me I can only have solid liquids for a week.
–Miami Beach, Florida
Woman: I really hate diets. I mean, I guess I could start smoking. But isn't that bad for your lungs or something?
–Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: something like that
Woman #1: I haven’t had sex in three years.
Woman #2: But what about your friend?
Woman #1: He doesn’t count, because I don’t enjoy it.
–Brittany Beach, France
Attractive female on cell: No, that's sexual harassment.
–Lorne, Australia
Woman walker #1: I would never go out with him–his head is huge, his clothes are always wrinkled, and he doesn't shower.
Woman walker #2: Ugh.
Woman walker #1: Besides, he smokes.
Woman walker #2: But you smoke, too!
Woman walker #1: I know, but I never date smokers.
–Lake Miramar, California
Overheard by: El Meech
Old cougar: It was good ole fashioned hanky panky. Fun, but definitely not worth all the sand that got up there.
–Canadia
Angry woman: You touchin' my weave!
–Coney Island, New York
50-something woman: I want the tiramisu for my birthday cake!
Husband: Well, the restaurant says they only have individual portions, not a big thing. That would be expensive for eleven people.
50-something woman: Well, I don't want the key lime pie, that's fifth on a list of five options.
20-something woman #1: Well, why don't we get a pie for everyone else, and a tiramisu for you?
50-something woman: I want everyone to eat what I'm eating in commemoration of my birthday!
20-something woman #2: Oh my god. I'm leaving.
–Holden Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: Audrey
