Women

Woman to friends, as they decide where to set up: Let's look for a part of the beach that isn't so sandy, y'all!

–Kill Devil Hills, Outer Banks, North Carolina

Overheard by: R U Serious?

Beach lady #1: Oh girls, last night I was watching 16 and Pregnant.
Beach lady #2: My daughter watches that. Well, I think it is stupid! That would suck for those girls.
Beach lady #1: How stupid are these kids these days? That's why my daughter uses safe sex.
Beach lady #2: Wait, weren't you pregnant at 16?

–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Emily

20-something woman #1: She was bitching about how there was nothing to eat in the house, and so Bob* said, “you could go to the store,” and she said, “I don't go to the store on my vacation. There are two things I don't do on vacation: go to the store and cook.”
20-something woman #2: What is she even on vacation from? Sitting on her ass?

–Holden Beach, North Carolina

Hairy man with large dog, to four young women: Are you here for the day?
Hot woman: No, we're just leaving. We have an appointment.
Hairy man: Really? What? Mani…pedi?
Hot woman: No. Sailing in Sag.

–Fying Point Beach, Southampton, New York

Overheard by: lolo

Older man: Look, if you're really worried about it…
Younger woman, with full mouth: I am! I'm having trouble sleeping.
Older man: Then you should get a restraining order.

–Beach Footpath, Australia

Overheard by: I Wish I Heard the Start

Old lady to another: She would do anything for a marshmallow!

–Seaside, Oregon

Overheard by: Arianne

Woman, noticing fly on her arm: No, you cannot land on me!

–Huntington Beach, California

Drunk woman to woman coming out of water with snorkeling mask: Oh, I was thinking about getting one of those! Is it worth the money?
Woman in mask: Absolutely! There's tons of sea urchins, coral, plants, fish…
Drunk woman: Tropical?

–Atlantis Resort Cove Beach, Bahamas

Overheard by: Maggie

Woman, putting lotion on man's back: How long have your parents been married?
Man: A long time: 25 or 30 years…
Woman: So your parents got married after you were born?
Man: No.
Woman: But you're 40! Okay, now you're scaring me. I just spilled half the bottle of lotion on your back. That would be 3.5 ounces. I'd explain it to you but you wouldn't understand.

–Fort De Soto Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Ishkabibble

Chubby middle-aged woman to her male friend: First thing I'm going to do is lose a lot of weight, then I'm gonna get a chemical peel…

–Smith Point, Fire Island, New York

Overheard by: geo