Woman: Can I rent a beach chair?
Lifeguard (just off duty on the last day of the season): Fuck you, dumb cunt.
–Panama City Beach, Florida
Woman: Can I rent a beach chair?
Lifeguard (just off duty on the last day of the season): Fuck you, dumb cunt.
–Panama City Beach, Florida
Frantic Italian woman to toddler walking along shore: Stay away from the waves! Stay away from the waves!
–Seawatch Beach, Manasquan, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mimi
Fat half-naked lady, walking up to a random lady and her kid: I'm about to burst!
–Cocoa Beach, Florida
Overheard by: would not like to be there when it happens
Overly sunburned woman: Oh, hey, look! A two-legged race!
–Aruba
Overheard by: Amused
Middle aged woman: And, like, you can just tell he doesn't truly love her or respect her as a woman because he lets her go out like that. I mean, my husband will always tell me to put a t-shirt on under something that's too low-cut, 'cause he doesn't want anyone staring. Now he loves me.
–Malibu, California
Fake tanned, bleach blonde woman loudly into phone: I mean, have you seen Alice lately? Forget the Brazilian wax, she needs to have the whole South American!
–Manly Beach, Sydney
Overheard by: anotherpassenger
Woman #1: You really should have seen this guy's boobs, they were huge.
Woman #2: So he needed a bra?
Man #1: A bro.
Man #2 (with hands on hips, triumphantly): A manzier!
Woman #1: What he needed was some testosterone!
–Hawaii
Overheard by: Festivus for the Rest of Us
40-something woman: Yeah, I cook a lot of chicken. I like it baked or fried, but my husband likes when I jerk it.
–Pompano Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Nastyasha
Early 30s woman: I was feeling bad, like I wasn’t on schedule or something. Then I saw who she was marrying and I didn’t feel so bad.
–Lake Michigan, Illinois
Overheard by: Midwest Values
