Dude: I don’t have an STD… But I want one!

–Panama City Beach, Florida

Overheard by: katie

Girl #1: Man, I think I got a yeast infection from that dude.
Girl #2: That fucking sucks.
Girl #1: Tell me about it. Getting laid is killing my sex life.

–Long Beach, California

Overheard by: hillary claire

Girl #1: But then I thought, ‘Why the hell would he kiss her when he has me?’
Girl #2: Uh, because of the herpes?
Girl #1: Fuck you.

–Cape May, New Jersey

Overheard by: J.Tro

Four-year-old boy scampering on shore: She’s got crabs! She’s got crabs! She’s got crabs!
Mom wading in water: Stop saying that!
Four-year-old boy: But you do… They’re all over down there!

–Sharky’s Beach, Port Charlotte, Florida

Gay boy 1: No! I will not tell people you have herpes when you don't!
Gay boy 2: Fine, whatever! Only a real friend would, anyway!

–Boca Raton, Florida

Overheard by: Michael

Shopping woman #1: I really like the crabs.
Shopping woman #2: Oh, me too. The crabs are great.

–Duck, North Carolina

Overheard by: Better you than me

Walker #1: So I think I am going to train for the LA marathon.
Walker #2: Really? What’s the cause?
Walker #1: Well, it’s for AIDS. Not that I have AIDS, nor know anyone who does.
Walker #2: Yeah, well, we all know AIDS is bad.

–Olympic & La Cienega Park, Los Angeles, California

20-something girl #1, coming out of water: Oh my god! I got stage fright, I couldn't go.
20-something girl #2: Oh, there's Danielle!! (points down to beach)
20-something girl #1: As soon as she gets here we're going back in, I have to pee so badly!
20-something girl #2: Hey, Danielle!
Danielle: Ohmigod, you guys! My herpes burns so badly!
(all three walks into water)

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Sweedie

Little girl, running happily: Mom, dad!
Little boy: Guess what we caught!
Both, in perfect unison: Crabs!

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: the girl who received dirty looks from the parents for laughing

Anorexic girl: I wish I had AIDS. I hear you lose a lot of weight that way.

–San Francisco, California

Overheard by: so not PC