Walker #1: So I think I am going to train for the LA marathon.
Walker #2: Really? What’s the cause?
Walker #1: Well, it’s for AIDS. Not that I have AIDS, nor know anyone who does.
Walker #2: Yeah, well, we all know AIDS is bad.

–Olympic & La Cienega Park, Los Angeles, California

20‐something girl #1, coming out of water: Oh my god! I got stage fright, I couldn’t go.
20‐something girl #2: Oh, there’s Danielle!! (points down to beach)
20‐something girl #1: As soon as she gets here we’re going back in, I have to pee so badly!
20‐something girl #2: Hey, Danielle!
Danielle: Ohmigod, you guys! My herpes burns so badly!
(all three walks into water)

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Sweedie

Little girl, running happily: Mom, dad!
Little boy: Guess what we caught!
Both, in perfect unison: Crabs!

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: the girl who received dirty looks from the parents for laughing

Anorexic girl: I wish I had AIDS. I hear you lose a lot of weight that way.

–San Francisco, California

Overheard by: so not PC

Small child to mother as they watch hermit crabs: Mommy, are these the same kind of crabs Daddy brought home before we left?

–Biloxi, Mississippi

Overheard by: Rick

Random guy named Mike, after hitting on girl for twenty minutes: You know, I’ve always wondered, can crabs get crabs?

–Ship Bottom, Long Beach Island, California

Overheard by: beachweek ’06

Italian girl: So, um… How do you know if you have crabs?
Frat boy: What?
Italian girl: Well, I’m not sure if I just have another yeast infection or dry skin or something…
Frat boy: Why are you asking me this?
Italian girl: Because we slept together last week and now I itch!

–Point Pleasant, New Jersey

Overheard by: jerseygirl

Gay boy 1: No! I will not tell people you have herpes when you don’t!
Gay boy 2: Fine, whatever! Only a real friend would, anyway!

–Boca Raton, Florida

Overheard by: Michael

Girl to friend walking down the boardwalk: Yeah, just keep in mind he does have an STD.

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: Hilary

40‐something guy: That must be like an all‐you‐can‐eat salad bar of STDs!
60‐something guy: She’s a twin.

–Pancake House, Redondo Beach, California