Woman walker #1: I would never go out with him – his head is huge, his clothes are always wrinkled, and he doesn’t shower.
Woman walker #2: Ugh.
Woman walker #1: Besides, he smokes.
Woman walker #2: But you smoke, too!
Woman walker #1: I know, but I never date smokers.
–Lake Miramar, California
Overheard by: El Meech
Old cougar: It was good ole fashioned hanky panky. Fun, but definitely not worth all the sand that got up there.
–Canadia
Angry woman: You touchin’ my weave!
–Coney Island, New York
50-something woman: I want the tiramisu for my birthday cake!
Husband: Well, the restaurant says they only have individual portions, not a big thing. That would be expensive for eleven people.
50-something woman: Well, I don’t want the key lime pie, that’s fifth on a list of five options.
20-something woman #1: Well, why don’t we get a pie for everyone else, and a tiramisu for you?
50-something woman: I want everyone to eat what I’m eating in commemoration of my birthday!
20-something woman #2: Oh my god. I’m leaving.
–Holden Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: Audrey
Woman in red dress to friend: I ain’t get none of my lemonade! They drank it up like savages!
–Coney Island, New York
Old woman #1: So did you get that dirty book I was talking about?
Old woman #2: No, I couldn’t find it. They don’t sell them at Barnes and Noble. I have to look on Amazon.
Old woman #1: The one I read is really graphic. This girl is this room, watching two people doing it.
Old woman #2: Yeah, I’m saving some of them to read on the plane ride.
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Overheard by: caySAYhey
Woman standing waist-deep in water: My labia has atrophied.
–Crescent Lake, Washington
Overheard by: The water really was that cold.
Woman, watching animal abuse commercial on Logo: I hate this commercial. This is why I don’t watch this channel. Well, this and all the gays.
–West Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Enjoys the gays
Lady to friends: Wow! This is a lot of sand!
–Cocoa Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Courtney
Woman, buying concert t‑shirt: How do these run? Big? Small?
Salesman: Well, they run a little small so I usually get a bigger size.
Woman: No, no. I have just had liposuction all down my back so I want mine to be really tight.
–Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: SusanPC
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
