Golden girl: Excuse me, bartender!
(harried bartender grunts at her)
Golden girl: Bartender, can I just have an ice cube please?
(harried bartender fills a cup with ice cubes and slams it down in front of her)
Golder girl: What am I supposed to do with all of these? I just wanted one to put in my bra!
–Colony Hotel, Delray Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Chick #1: Do you want your sandwich?
Chick #2: Nah, it hasn’t been refrigerated.
Chick #1: Well, it’s just lunch meat, it’s not real meat anyways.
Chick #2: Yea…
–Lake Tahoe, California
Guy trying to park his car: Honey, am I straight? Am I straight?
Wife: I damned well hope so.
–Grand Beach, Manitoba, Canadia
Overheard by: Shalamar
Surfer dude to flabby, uninterested friend: Are you seeing this? That seagull is frickin' staring me down. Look at him. Are you looking at him? He's giving me the eye. That motherfucker is going to shit on me at some point today, and he wants me to know it.
–Ocean Beach, California
Teenage girl: I can't wait to get a tattoo on my lower back.
Tween boy #1: Why would you want a tattoo there? How are you going to be able to see it?
Tween boy #2: It's not for her, stupid, it's for the dudes she lets do her in the butt doggy-style.
–St. Simon's Island, Georgia
Overheard by: John
20-something guy: If someone offered you a thousand dollars to let them break your leg, would you say yes? I would. I'd say “hell yeah, break that shit in half!”
–Siesta Key, Florida
Guy #1: I can’t believe you did that! How could you? After all this time! I thought I knew you!
Guy #2, very loudly: It’s my butt and it’s gonna be fucked if I want it to!
–Enseada Beach, Brazil
Overheard by: Natasha
Guy #1: I can’t believe you did that! How could you? After all this time! I thought I knew you!
Guy #2, very loudly: It’s my butt and it’s gonna be fucked if I want it to!
–Enseada Beach, Brazil
Overheard by: Natasha
Adorable little girl: Daddy, I want a hamburger!
Bitter dad: No, hamburgers will make you fat. Do you want to be fat like your mommy? Is that what you want?
–3rd Street Promenade, Santa Monica, California
