Randy Found Her Unresponsive, Cowlike Demeanor Strangely Arousing

Fat dude on awkward first date: Yeah, so that’s why I didn’t put ‘Let’s meet at Starbucks’ in my ad. ‘Let’s have a beer on the beach,’ you know?
Obese chick: Mmm-hmmm.
Fat dude: So… You don’t drink?
Obese chick: Hm-mmm.
Fat dude: So, it’s fair to say you have a problem with alcohol.
Obese chick: I don’t have a problem with it.
Fat dude, after long pause: So, what do you do? I mean, what other hobbies do you have?
Obese chick: I chew a lot of gum.

–Golden Gardens Park, Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Brooke

Posted on August 10, 2026
Dating, Drinking, Drunks, Fat people, Idiots, Stupidity, Washington

Oh, Right, the Money and the 10-inch Cock

Chick on cell: Yeah, don’t you wash your hands after you go to the bathroom? Ewww, why am I dating you?

–Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: hannie bananie

Posted on May 9, 2026
Bimbettes, Health & Hygiene, Washington

I Concur! Can You Fathom or Even Credit His Total Aphasia?

Teen #1: So he’s like, "nuh uh," and I’m like, "uh huh," and he’s like, "nuh uh," and I’m like, "um… uh huh," and he’s like, "nuh uh."
Teen #2: No way!
Teen #1: Way.

–Golden Gardens, Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Translater Please!

Posted on January 30, 2026
Default, Teens, Washington, Words

Or "Horseshoe Crabs Aren't Fuckbuddies"

Girl to friend: Swimming without lifeguards is awesome. There's nobody to say, “hey, no splash fights”, or “you can't have that fifth of vodka in the water!”

–Madison Beach, Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Also Drinking