Person #1: I don't want to go in the water.
Person #2: Why? We came all the way to the beach…
Person #1: It's cold in the water.
Person #2: You were the one that wanted to come.
Person #1: Yes, but I didn't want to go in the water.
Person #2: Why ever not?
Person #1: There are crabs in the water. I don't want people to think I'm promiscuous.
–Plymouth Beach, Virginia
Mother to crying three-year-old: Billy, you need to work on your emotional fragility. Take a deep cleansing breath. You know, you are a sensitive and caring boy, and that's a strength. But right now it's a weakness and you need to stop it.
–Delaware
Frat guy trying to get to house behind closed gate: Dude, what the hell?
Teen girl on balcony across street: Boy, to open that gate you gotta' open yo' legs!
–Seaside, Florida
Girl on cell: Mom, I can't talk right now, I'm in the library. (pause) Yes. (pause) No, I can't talk, I'm studying.
–Blemar Beach, New Jersey
Loud, drunk sorostitute leaving bar to drunk frat boy: When we get back, I'm gonna piss all over your pussy.
–Daytona Beach, Florida
Little girl: Do you have a stronger brain or a stronger heart?
Dad: Who?
Little girl: You?
Dad: Both.
–Rye, New York
Overheard by: Lobster
Drunk guy, plopping down on lounge chair: Oh yeah!
Burly man passed out next to him starts to wake up.
Drunk guy: You are a sex machine!
Burly man: What? Where am I??
–Pool bar, Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Girl on nearby lounge chair
Husband, excited at seeing a washed up, dead whale: Carla? Do you remember how excited you were when you saw that deer? Well, wait ’til you see this!
–Fernandina Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Katred
Blonde: So my mom fucked me last night.
Friend: She what?
Blonde: You know, held up her middle finger…
Friend: Um…
–Malibu, California
Little boy's brother: Why are you screaming?
Little boy: Because I'm Hillary Clinton!
–Drift Inn Beach, Port Clyde, Maine
Overheard by: Sara
