Sensory Experiences

Chick #1: Do you want your sandwich?
Chick #2: Nah, it hasn’t been refrigerated.
Chick #1: Well, it’s just lunch meat, it’s not real meat anyways.
Chick #2: Yea…

–Lake Tahoe, California

Girl #1: Look at that guy!
Girl #2: Which one?
Girl #1: The one with the white thong!
Girl #2: [80-year-old guy bends over to pick up shell.] Look! The thong’s not white there!
Girl #1: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

–Daytona Beach, Florida

Five-year old boy whining to dad: Let’s go boogie-board.
Dad: No! You know my nipples get raw if I go without a shirt on…

–Newport Beach, California

Overheard by: Lilian

Elderly man, taking picture of his wife on the beach: You look like you're having an orgasm!
Wife: How would you know?

–Pass-A-Grille Beach, Florida

Overheard by: The girl who almost ended up in the picture.

Middle-aged soccer mom, incredulously: There is sand everywhere! (short pause) Like, no kidding!

–Calafia Beach, San Clemente, California

Overheard by: omg, are you kidding?!

Girl #1: It was really awkward with him last night, he kept putting his hand in his back pocket and down the back of his jeans.
Girl #2: Maybe he had an itch on his ass?
Girl #1: It was worse then that: he started rubbing his ass on the bar stool.

–Jones Beach, Long Island, New York

Girl: I think that bitch Ashley got me sick. You know how you can feel it in the back of your throat before it comes… Wow!

–San Diego, California

Perfect guido #1, intensely: Yo, bro, there is no way dat your granmudda’s meatballs are better dan my granmudda’s meatballs.
Perfect guido #2: Alright, bro, I’ll give you dat much. But my granmudda’s marinara sauce will blow your granmudda’s outta da saucepan.

–Jones Beach, New York

Burger eater to another: I ate so much salad yesterday I've got lettuce confetti flying out of my butt.

–Kailua-Kona, Hawaii

Overheard by: check please!

Boy to friend: When she called I was in my room, naked, blow drying my body.

–Jones Beach, New York