Sensory Experiences

Dirty old man to visibly terrified 20-something girl next to him: You know, as of today I am no longer on probation. Yep. You look good in shorts. I'm wearing pants cause I had to go to court today. (stops to make phone call) Hey, it's Steven*! Not on probation anymore! (hangs up without saying goodbye, turns back to girl) Right over there is where I went to school. Ten years old, then I quit. Mom used to have a dry clean right over there. No more. Ya know, over that building's the one my buddy sold and now it's a Hard Rock Cafe. A Hard Rock Cafe! Some years ago I saw Peter, Paul & Mary there. Ya know them? I used to date Mary. Wanted me to go to [unintelligible] with her. Never been there to this day. Been to South America, Africa, all over! Never done go to [unintelligible]. Alright, well, take care! (he gets off bus)
No longer terrified 20-something girl to random girl: He smelled like cocaine!

–Express Bus, Waikiki, Hawaii

Overheard by: mel

Girl to friend: It's so hot. I'm icing my nipples, and they're not even getting erect.

–Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: Yep, it's really that hot

Lady in long line for bathroom: Why you wanna change in there when you got sand up your ass?

–Boardwalk, Coney Island, New York

Boy, obviously on drugs: My mum says that your brain is like a forest, and every time you take drugs you are cutting down a tree.

–Splendour Music Festival, Byron Bay, Australia

Boy, obviously on drugs: My mum says that your brain is like a forest, and every time you take drugs you are cutting down a tree.

–Splendour Music Festival, Byron Bay, Australia

Little kid on the beach: Ew! It smells like the ocean!

–Cape May, New Jersey

Overheard by: Megan

Six-year-old to mother: A big wave just came and knocked me down and carried me away and some lady helped me up.
Mother: Why didn't your father help you up?
Six-year-old, in sneering voice: Cuz he was too busy going “hahahahaha!”

–Bethany Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: just the Aunt

Tourist woman, looking at bushes of rose hips: Oh! Look at all the baby tomatoes!

–Horseneck Beach, Massachusetts

Girl #1: Yeah, that is unless I morph into a…
Girl #2: (laughs)
Girl #1: What's so funny?
Girl #2: You said “morph,” it's a funny word.
Girl #1: Is it? I thought we both used it in everyday conversation.
Girl #2: Do we?
Girl #1: I don't know… (giggles) Morphs… It is a funny word!
Girl #2, laughing: Morphs!

–Hollywood, Florida

Overheard by: intelligent conversation..

Girl on drugs, rubbing random person's stomach: Your belly feels like my belly, but on someone else!

–Byron Bay, Australia