Teen girl: My shorts are expanding like a tampon!
–Jones Beach, New York
Teen girl: My shorts are expanding like a tampon!
–Jones Beach, New York
Guy #1: Wait… When are you getting circumcised, bro?
Guy #2: Tomorrow.
–Robert Moses Beach, New York
Teenage boy #1: I'm gonna grab your nipple.
Teenage boy #2: You better grab my nipple!
–Head of the Fish Regatta, Saratoga Springs, New York
Drunk sunbather: Have I told you I hate kites? I just hate them. They make me want to vomit. Also, I don’t like adjectives, so don’t call this a ‘tasty sandwich.’
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: pole
Girl to friend: You just took four Clonazepam. How are you not having a good time?
–Luna Park, Coney Island
Postman on cell: Yeah, I'm not a street gangsta–but I'm a gangsta in the house. I hold that shit down. Anybody can be all tough in the streets, but me, I got the house on lock.
–Rockaway Beach, New York
Overheard by: Tigertail
Guy to date: Careful, you're about to spill that soda on yourself.
Girl: Yeah. Well hey, what's one more liquid splashed all over my body today?
Guy: Uh… What?
Girl: Oh. Uh… what?
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: tner
Woman: If you get pulled out by a rip tide you shouldn't even bother to fight it, right? Because you're already dead.
Man: She's giving herself a pep talk.
–Fire Island, New York
Overheard by: beach comber
Furious teenage boy to other teens: Just because you call “no-homo” before you do something doesn't mean it's not gay!
–Coney Island, New York
