Delighted five-year-old: Mommy! Mommy! A fish!
Mom: What is it?
Delighted five-year-old: A fish! In the water!
Mom: Oh, you see a fish? Is he swimmin’?
Delighted five-year-old: No! He’s dead!
–Clove Lake Park, Staten Island
Delighted five-year-old: Mommy! Mommy! A fish!
Mom: What is it?
Delighted five-year-old: A fish! In the water!
Mom: Oh, you see a fish? Is he swimmin’?
Delighted five-year-old: No! He’s dead!
–Clove Lake Park, Staten Island
Teenage boy #1: Dude, look at that hot chick… And she's topless!
Teenage boy #2: That's a man in in a speedo, you idiot.
Teenage boy #1: Oh. (look of disgust)
–Long Beach, New York
Guido hitting on underage girls: I’m gonna go home and shave my tits, and then we’re having a house party.
–Rockaway Beach, New York
Guy: Okay, first person to find a used condom wins a prize!
–Coney Island Beach, New York
Sister: Would you like to see some sea life?
Brother, pointing at three women sunbathing topless: Eww, this isn’t Europe!
Sister: Eli, just look away.
–Rockway Beach, NY
Guy to woman: I'm not going to have a nervous breakdown like you did, and I'm not going to have irritable bowl syndrome like John. I'm going to visit mom less often.
–Manhattan Beach, New York
Eight-year-old boy: … So I whipped out my peanut and had sex with the sheets…
–Near the Steeplechase, Coney Island Beach, New York
Overheard by: beach soccer bum
Mother: We're all set for the picnic!
Random gay dude: Oh, really? Yum! What'd you get us?
Mother: Uh, roast pork sandwiches.
Random gay dude: Ooooh, sounds good! (wanders off)
Mother (whispers): You have to be careful what you say around here.
–East Hampton, New York
Overheard by: pop pop
Man: Shit. I hate him so much. He gets me so mad sometimes. He makes me so mad I wanna fuck him hard in the ass.
–Coney Island, New York
Woman: I think I just heard thunder… do you think it’s gonna rain soon?
Lifeguard, looking into clear sky: Mmm… yeah. You might want to leave soon. It’s probably gonna rain any minute now.
Woman: Oh, OK. Hey, kids! Let’s go! It looks like it’s gonna rain!
–Caroga Lake, New York
Overheard by: Marc Wiley
