Eight-year-old boy: … So I whipped out my peanut and had sex with the sheets…
–Near the Steeplechase, Coney Island Beach, New York
Overheard by: beach soccer bum
Eight-year-old boy: … So I whipped out my peanut and had sex with the sheets…
–Near the Steeplechase, Coney Island Beach, New York
Overheard by: beach soccer bum
Mother: We're all set for the picnic!
Random gay dude: Oh, really? Yum! What'd you get us?
Mother: Uh, roast pork sandwiches.
Random gay dude: Ooooh, sounds good! (wanders off)
Mother (whispers): You have to be careful what you say around here.
–East Hampton, New York
Overheard by: pop pop
Man: Shit. I hate him so much. He gets me so mad sometimes. He makes me so mad I wanna fuck him hard in the ass.
–Coney Island, New York
Woman: I think I just heard thunder… do you think it’s gonna rain soon?
Lifeguard, looking into clear sky: Mmm… yeah. You might want to leave soon. It’s probably gonna rain any minute now.
Woman: Oh, OK. Hey, kids! Let’s go! It looks like it’s gonna rain!
–Caroga Lake, New York
Overheard by: Marc Wiley
Girl #1: Things happen for a reason, you know.
Girl #2: Yeah… It's probably good that I'm not rich. If I were rich, I'd be such a bitch!
Girl #1: Oh, I know! I'd still love you, but you'd be a total bitch.
Girl #2: Ugh… I can just hear me now: (total val voice) I'm going shopping! (normal voice) Ugh… My dad would spoil me.
Girl #1: I know! My dad too!
Girl #2: Our dads are too nice!
Girl #1: Maybe that's why god made them poor.
Girl #2: Yeah… He knew we'd be terrible people.
–Nathan's, Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Wondering if I sound like this to other people
Kid in wave pool, to friend: No, you gotta jump up into the waves. Jump! Jump! No, jump up, not down!
–Splish Splash, Long Island, New York
Girl in the ocean to onshore friend: Come out here! I'm like The Little Mermaid without Sebastian! I don't even have flounder!
Girl on shore: (shakes head no)
Girl in the ocean: Come on! You've seen Baywatch! Jog!
–Smith's Point, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Andi
Woman looking at water: Wow! Did you rake the water? It looks nice!
Lifeguard: Yeah, it took me a long time.
–Caroga Lake, New York
Overheard by: Willie COol
Girl #1: I think you might be ridiculous.
Girl #2: Look who’s talking.
Girl #1: See, you’re not normally ridiculous. On the other hand, I am always ridiculous. So why should you expect any different from me?
Girl #2: I shouldn’t. I’m sorry.
–#6 Parking Lot, Jones Beach, New York
Naked guy: Do you know why I love going to nude beaches?
Naked chick: Why?
Naked guy: No Republicans.
–Field 5, Robert Moses Beach, New York
Overheard by: Stila
