White muscle head to black muscle head friend: Hey, bro! You got tan! How’d you do that?
–Robert Moses State Park, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Cara
White muscle head to black muscle head friend: Hey, bro! You got tan! How’d you do that?
–Robert Moses State Park, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Cara
Chick #1: Hey, have you heard of those Rice Krispie treats? They’re awesome. They should so make a cereal out of those or something!
Chick #2: You dumbass, they are cereal!
Chick #1: Oh…
–Robert Moses Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: i like rice krispies
Ditz: Do you still tan if you don’t lie down?
–Jones Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: the imbiber
Boundary-Conscious chick: Oh my God, why is that seagull here? I thought this was a private beach!
–Westhampton Beach, New York
Overly tan muscle man at crowded parade: You can tell people who aren’t from New York cause they say “Excuse me”.
–Coney Island, New York
Dad to buddy’s tween daughter: Susie*, can you get me another beer from the cooler?
Susie: Wow, Jerry, you’re an alcoholic.
Dad’s own tween daughter: My dad is not an alcoholic, he just drinks fast!
–Long Island, New York
Dude on cell: I don’t think the marriage thing is going to work… Why? Because I’m already married!
–Smith Point, Long Island, New York
Little boy: Guess what?
Man: What?
Little boy: On the count of three, I’m going to turn into a dinosaur.
–Rockaway Beach, New York
Overheard by: Ever
Freezing 20-something to boyfriend: I can't feel my nipples! I can't feel my nipples! Oh my god! That water's so freaking cold! (to friend) Brenda*! I can't feel my nipples!
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: I wish I could
