20-something: You have no imagination.
Teenage brother: Masturbators have more imagination than you!
–Midland Beach, New York
Overheard by: Mr Puff Nubbins
20-something: You have no imagination.
Teenage brother: Masturbators have more imagination than you!
–Midland Beach, New York
Overheard by: Mr Puff Nubbins
Girl in bathroom stall: Eww, the pee on this seat is so bad I can't even wipe it up!
Friend: So don't sit on it.
Girl: I know, but I kinda wanted to poop…gotta do the lean, and it's gonna splash. Oh, wait, hmmmm… It's not there after all! It was a ghost poop.
–Rocks Off Concert Cruise, New York
Father to daughter, while mother brushes hair: Doesn't that hurt?
Daughter: Nope, I have a strong scallop.
Father: What does that mean? Your head is not made of vegetables!
Mother: What? Vegetables? That's “scallions,” you idiot! And your head is not a scallop, it's a scalp… you're both idiots! (laughs hysterically)
–Robert Moses, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Sugardoll
Chubby middle-aged woman to her male friend: First thing I'm going to do is lose a lot of weight, then I'm gonna get a chemical peel…
–Smith Point, Fire Island, New York
Overheard by: geo
Girl: Do you hipsters wear glasses?
Boy: Only if it's not necessary.
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Paperback Writer
Wifey: I mean, just stop staring at her vagina!
–Cedar Beach, West Islip, Long Island
Overheard by: Indecent Exposure?
Teen girl to giggly friend: Well, it's not my favorite thing to have that kind of shit in my mouth.
–Lido Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Alyssa
Little girl, screaming to mother on an excruciatingly hot day: Mommy, my eyes are sweating!
–Coney Island Beach, New York
Girlfriend: Oh my god, I am so hot!
Boyfriend: Then go in the water and cool off.
Girlfriend: I can’t! This bikini is dry clean only!
–Long Island, New York
Overheard by: carenexplainsitall
Boy to friend: When she called I was in my room, naked, blow drying my body.
–Jones Beach, New York
