New York

Teen girl #1: The sand is so hot!
Teen girl #2: That’s why God put the sand near the water.
Teen girl #1: God was a genius!

–Fair Haven Beach, New York

Overheard by: Jane

Rich stoner: Are you sure the bonfire won’t light the sand on fire?

–The Hamptons, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: og pimp

Young guy in floral: Are you supposed to wear underwear under these things?
Friend in plaid: I mean, you don't have to… but I do.

–Robert Moses, Long Island, New York

Girl to friends on boardwalk: Were you there when that naked guy walked into the shower?!

–Jones Beach, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: BGonz

Black guy to puking white guy: Yup, I know what that's like. I do that every morning, brother!

–Long Beach, Long Island, New York

White muscle head to black muscle head friend: Hey, bro! You got tan! How’d you do that?

–Robert Moses State Park, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Cara

Chick #1: Hey, have you heard of those Rice Krispie treats? They’re awesome. They should so make a cereal out of those or something!
Chick #2: You dumbass, they are cereal!
Chick #1: Oh…

–Robert Moses Beach, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: i like rice krispies

Ditz: Do you still tan if you don’t lie down?

–Jones Beach, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: the imbiber

Boundary-Conscious chick: Oh my God, why is that seagull here? I thought this was a private beach!

–Westhampton Beach, New York

A+

Girl with textbook: What's the capital of the United States?
Boy: Washington, DC?
Girl with textbook: How many eggs to a dozen?
Boy: 12?
Girl with textbook: Where are the Jews?
Boy: Long Island?

–New York