Hairy man with large dog, to four young women: Are you here for the day?
Hot woman: No, we're just leaving. We have an appointment.
Hairy man: Really? What? Mani…pedi?
Hot woman: No. Sailing in Sag.
–Fying Point Beach, Southampton, New York
Overheard by: lolo
30-ish chick #1: Well, maybe your body is telling you that it’s time to have a baby.
30-ish chick #2: Well, maybe I’ll just tell my body to shut the fuck up.
–Jones Beach, New York
Tony: So, tell me about them.
Ralph: Her tits?
Tony: Yeah.
Ralph: Okay, you know those kinda tits — the Mount Everest kind?
Tony: Yeah, yeah…
Ralph: And you know those kinda tits — the Mount Whitney kind?
Tony: Uh-huh.
Ralph: They were a cross between those.
Tony: Ohhh. Solid, man, solid.
–The Hamptons, New York
Girl #1: Come on, get in the water.
Girl #2: Yeah, it’s nice.
Girl #3: No way! There are sharks!
Girl #1: There aren’t any sharks.
Girl #3: Oh yeah? Then why are there so many bubbles?
–Robert Moses Beach, New York
Girl #1: Don’t go skinny dipping here.
Girl #2: Why not? That blind person is the only guy around.
Blind guy: I’m blind, not deaf. Now I can use the sound of your voice to project an image of you naked in my head. [He pauses for a moment.] It’s not pretty.
–Westhampton Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: amanda fox
Tiny mullet kid: Spank the hiney! Spank the hiney!
Surfer passerby: Spank the hiney? Awesome!
–Robert Moses Beach, New York
Little boy: I like pizza!
Older guy: Me too.
Little boy: I eat pizza in a garbage pail!
–Sun & Surf Beach Club, Atlantic Beach, New York
Overheard by: Kristen
Airhead girl, trying to pick up boys: Oh, you go to [name of college]. We go to [name of college right next to it]. (thinks) We're sophomores now, right?
Airhead girl friend: Yeah, I think so.
–Sunset Bay, New York
Overheard by: defsophomore
Girl #1: It was really awkward with him last night, he kept putting his hand in his back pocket and down the back of his jeans.
Girl #2: Maybe he had an itch on his ass?
Girl #1: It was worse then that: he started rubbing his ass on the bar stool.
–Jones Beach, Long Island, New York
