14-year-old boy, looking at tide chart: Dude, I don’t get it! High tide is at 9:55 p.m., but this place closes at eight!
–Crescent Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Kevin and Elissa
Guy: If they try to get you to cook dinner, don't do it. That's how they try to control you.
–Redondo Beach, California
Girl: It's funny, when I first met you, you were a virgin, and now you fuck everybody!
Guy, whining: Shut up!
–Smith Point, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Tom and Katie
Girl to guy: So, wait, remind me again when you told me you were going to be a bridesmaid. I feel like I haven't been making fun of you enough for that.
Guy: It was a while ago.
Girl: Wow, I have some major mocking to do!
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Bearded man #1: Alright, man, I'll see you later.
Bearded man #2: Yeah, see ya.
Bearded man #1: I'll come by your window later and whistle for you. No, I'll do a bird call. Kaw! Kaw!
Bearded man #2: Okay, man.
Bearded man: #1: I'm a crow! I'm a raven! I love birds!
Bearded man #2: Alright, man, I hear you!
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Likes birds too
Beach wedding guest #1: Why is it so fucking hot here? Don't they have any shade for us to sit under?
Beach wedding guest #2: This better be fast. They don't want me all sweaty at the reception.
Beach wedding guest #1: Fucking Florida. I can't wait to get back to Michigan. And real weather.
–Captiva Island, Florida
Guy to another: I'm a man-loving man, man! Stop calling me a fag!
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: scrapes
Guy to friend, in thick New York accent: Let's go on the cyclone and get the fuck outta here!
–Coney Island
Overheard by: Preston
Dude #1: So, whatever happened to that stripper you were dating?
Dude #2: It’s over. I think it’s a bad idea to date strippers. You realize there’s a good reason they’re strippers, then it fucks it up every time you go back. It’s like, you look at these hotties and imagine all the possibilities, but now, after dating enough strippers, you realize the possibilities include consoling her drunk ass as she cries about being abused as a child while she lines up another rail of coke, then tells you her secret fantasy is to see you get nailed in the ass by another dude!
Dude #1: I still want to date one.
Dude #2: … Yeah, they’re fun.
–LaHaina’s, Mission Beach, California
Overheard by: sean
