Psychology

Girl #1: What do you say when people ask about me?
Girl #2: “She’s a narcissistic freak.“
Girl #1: What kind of narcissist am I?
Girl #2: (stares blankly)
Girl #1: A pretty oneee.
Girl #2: You want me to lie to you?
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: Just kidding – you’re not not pretty.
Girl #1: What?!
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: You’re saying I’m not ugly but I’m not pretty.
Girl #2: You’re in limbo between pretty and ugly, so being mean to me makes you ugly.

–Kure Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Bee

Man to friends: He’s a pyromaniac from way back.

–Sea Isle City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Bonnie

Guy to woman: I’m not going to have a nervous breakdown like you did, and I’m not going to have irritable bowl syndrome like John. I’m going to visit mom less often.

–Manhattan Beach, New York

Little boy: Mommy, do you know this?
Mom: What, honey?
Little boy: Do you know this?
Mom: What, honey? I know everything.
Little boy: You’re crazy.
Mom: Yeah, I knew this.

–Provincetown, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Just waiting for a lobster roll

Blonde: What is autism?
Brunette: Are you serious?
Blonde: Isn’t that when you write upside‐down?

–Tampa, Florida

Man, running as fast as he can across sand, screaming like a maniac: Molly! Molly! Molly!(entire beach crowd stares)
Man, running as fast as he can across sand, screaming like a maniac: Molly! Molly! Molly!(entire beach crowd stares)
Man, finding Molly sitting quietly: Oh, there you are.

–Lewes Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: maybe next time, take Molly with you

Dude #1: That cloud over the moon looks like the number three! Dude, that is crazy!
Dude #2: Why is that crazy?
Dude #1: Because that was Dale Earnhardt’s number. It’s like he’s speaking to me!

–Nags Head, North Carolina

Overheard by: Gambitgirl

Mom, holding bag of ashes: (whispers)
Girl: Mom, stop talking to dad! It’s creepy.

–Huntington Beach, California

Teenage girl: Rosie O’Donnell has multiple personality disorder.
Friend: I thought she was a lesbian.

–Starbucks, La Jolla, California

Overheard by: …Which are mutually exclusive.

Teenage girl in expensive yoga pants to meek mother: Move to France? Why the hell would I move to France? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard you say in, like, forever. Stop trying to live your, like, stupid dreams and stuff through me!

–Coffee Shop in the Beach, Toronto, Canadia