Girls

Activist #1: Hey girls, want to save the world together?
Girl #1: Ummmm…
Activist #2: Do you like our planet?
Girl #2: Eh, I've been to better. Thanks, but no thanks.

–Seal Beach, California

20-something girl: We can't make Eric a “sorry you got raped” cake anymore.

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Teen girl #1: God, I hate when people bring their cell phones to the beach.
Teen girl #2: I have my cell phone at the beach right now.
Teen girl #1: Me too.

–Ocean Beach, New Jersey

Ghetto black girl, about Lil Wayne: Nah, I wouldn't fuck him, he too short!
Ghetto white girl: Shit, he short but I bet he know the motion of the ocean! You know he do! I'd let him in right in me, yeah I would!

–Santa Cruz, California

Girl: Oh my God! This water is really cold, can you turn the heater up?
Lifeguard, returning from locker room: There you go, it should be better now.
Girl: Hey, this really does feel warmer. Thanks, lifeguard!

–Caroga Lake, New York

Overheard by: Marc Wiley

Chick: I can’t stand it when people smoke at the beach. It’s such a wrong thing to do in a place like this.
Dude: Smoking at the beach is like killing someone at a birthday party.

–Long Beach, California

Overheard by: Peter

Girl (pointing to sign on lifeguard tower): Hah! I thought that said “Dying is dangerous and prohibited” for a sec.
Guy: You're crazy. It says “diving!”
Girl: (pause) I know. But.. oh, whatever.
Lifeguard: Yes–we have a very strict policy… No dying!

–Corona Del Mar Beach, California

Overheard by: Dee

Girl #1: I don’t know what it is…I just think…
Girl #2: …He’s too nerdy?
Girl #1: No, but I think he might have herpes.

–Long Beach, California

Spring breaker girls to group of 30-something guys: Hey, you guys want us to take your picture for you?
Guys: Huh?
Girls: Do you want us to take the shot?
Guys: A shot? Tequila? You girls like patron? Waitress! Shots!
Girls: Wow, that was easy…

–Key West, Florida

Drunk girl: I think I am sexually attracted to fire.
Sober girl: Yeah…let me know how that goes.
Drunk girl: It burns, but I gotta admit I love the smell of burning pubic hair in the morning.

–Gold Coast, Australia