Teen girl #1 is making a crease in her towel and filling it with sand.
Teen girl #2: What the fuck are you doing?
Teen girl #1: Look! It’s ‘de Nile’!
Teen girl #2: What? You mean the Nile River? How could that be the Nile River? There’s no water involved!
Teen girl #1, after long pause: Well… Has anyone ever told you that you look like Danny DeVito?
–Jericho Beach, British Columbia, Canadia
Overheard by: bondgirl
Little girl: Lifeguard! Lifeguard! What do crabs eat?
Lifeguard: Little girls.
–Riis Park, New York
Guy: It smells like pussy out here!
Girl: It smells like you’re gonna have to find someone else to give your ass a ride home.
–Bixby Knolls, Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Armando
Girl #1: You need to learn to give off a “piss off” vibe. Follow my lead.
Girl #2 (to drunk groping her): If you fucking touch me one more time I'll cut off your balls!
Girl #1: Or just do that…
–Bondi Beach, Australia
Idiot chick #1: Oh my god! This sand is sooo much hotter than it was this morning!
Idiot chick #2: Yeah, this morning it wasn’t that hot!
Idiot chick #3: But now it’s really hot!
Idiot chick #2: Yeah!
Idiot chick #1: Not like this morning.
Idiot chick #3: Yeah… It wasn’t that hot this morning.
(brief pause)
Idiot chick #1: Yeah…
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Suzanne
Girl #1: Yeah, so I wore two different colored flip-flops to the mall. It was so humiliating all day, looking like that.
Girl #2: I would’ve died!
–Ocean Beach, Fire Island, New York
White college girl: Every time I see them, I'm like, “Asians!” and they're like, “whitey!”
–Long Beach, California
White college girl: Every time I see them, I'm like, “Asians!” and they're like, “whitey!”
–Long Beach, California
Teen girl: I heard there are sharks in the lake.
Teen boy: That’s probably not true.
Teen girl: It’s true. Like, somebody got killed here by a shark.
Teen boy: I think you have upstate New York confused with anywhere with a shoreline.
Teen girl: But…
Teen boy: ‘But’-nothing if you wanna get fucked later.
–Lake George, New York
