Girls

Drunk girl to interviewer with guitar: Are you part of one of the bands?
Interviewer: No, I just interviewed Paramore for my job.
Drunk girl: Oh… Well… Do you want a beer bong, anyway?

–Panama City Beach, Florida

Chick #1: So, yeah, he's still fuckin' with me… But not fucking fuckin' with me. Just with my head.
Chick #2: Oh, so he's not using his head to fuck with you. Just his other head?
Chick #1: Yep. You got it. It's a head fuck without the head.
Chick #2: Must be painful.
Chick #1: You don't fuckin' know the half of it.

–San Rafael, California

Overheard by: Head Games Suck, Or Not

Girl: My nipples are so sore! I think they’re sunburned.
Nipple-Savvy friend: Is that even possible?
Girl: What else would explain the pain? [Shows nipple]Nipple-Savvy friend: Maybe your boyfriend shouldn’t bite them so hard, yeah?
Girl: He didn’t bite them!
Nipple-Savvy friend: I can see the bite marks.
Girl: Oh.

–Miami Beach, Florida

Overheard by: A beach bookreader

Girl #1: She wants me to move to Philadelphia after college, because she has family in Pennsylvania and she wants to visit me.
Girl #2: Why would she want you to move to Philadelphia and not Pennsylvania?

–Palm City, Florida

Overheard by: MBD

Girl #1: I'm hungry, let's get crepes!
Girl #2: What's a crepe?
Girl #1, after pause: It's like a package made out of a pancake.

–Santa Barbara, California

Trailer trash girl: Daddy, should I put this in the toilet or hang it on the wall?
Dad: In the toilet, of course!

–Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts

American girl #1: You know what I want to get while I’m here in India? A Sherpa. That would be so cool.
American girl #2: What’s a Sherpa?
American girl #1: It’s, like, a people endemic to the Himalayas. You can buy one, and they carry your stuff for you.
American girl #2: Oooh, that sounds nice!

–Goa, India

Overheard by: Wish I were Canadian

Teenage girl: I love carbs! I would marry them if eating your spouse was legal!

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Hippie chick #1: He’s doing fantastic.
Hippie chick #2: Really?
Hippie chick #1: Yeah, his family was really worried about him for a while, but he’s fine now… He’s, like, the leader of some cult in the valley.
Hippie chick #2: Good for him.

–Venice Beach, California

Girl on cell: Hey! I was wondering when you’re picking me up… Oh… Okay… Well, yeah, I’m not as exciting as getting fucked. I’d ditch me too. Okay, call me tomorrow!

–Queen’s Quay, Toronto, Canadia

Overheard by: Laura