Middle‐aged guy: Nah, it’s never worth it if you don’t get laid. I mean, I could’ve gotten two hookers for that much!

–Lake Calhoun, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: boris the blade

Mid‐twenties gal: (shows bottle of sunscreen) Hey, hon, will you cream me?
Mid‐twenties guy: (snickers)
Mid‐twenties gal: What? Oh, god. You’re sick.
(guy rubs the sunscreen on her back)
Mid‐twenties guy: Can you get the rest yourself?
Mid‐twenties gal: Yeah, I’ll just finish myself off.
Mid‐twenties guy: (snickers)
Mid‐twenties gal: Oh, shut‐up!

–St. Paul, Minnesota

Mother to child, as they leave the beach: You’re like walkin’, talkin’ birth control.

–Brownie Lake, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Erin Christey

Teen boy #1: I swear on my mom, if you just put that on you won’t get wet.
Teen boy #2: Then why the fuck is it called a wet suit?

–Cedar Lake, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Dad to kid: You guys want to rent a canoe?
Kid: Canoe!? That’s super hard, even on the Wii, much less in real water!

–Lake Calhoun Beach, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: caveman

Little black girl, as it starts to rain: It be droplin’!

–Elm Creek Beach, Minnesota

Overheard by: Life Guard

Girl: I would have stayed on longer, but my swimsuit was on one ankle!

–Madison Lake, Minnesota

Young woman on cell: Okay, well, I’m leaving before he sees the blood.

–Minnetonka Beach, Minnesota

Overheard by: buddy

Hungover girl: Ahh, I feel like shit.
Less hungover girl: Yeah, I can’t believe we did that last night.
Hungover girl: What?…What are you talking about?
Less hungover girl: Cassie…the trampoline?
Hungover girl: Oh my God! Who saw that?!

–Ramsey Beach, Minnesota

A group of pedestrians is almost run down by several cyclists.

Girl #1: Are we walking on the bike path?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: God, I hate us. 

–Lake Nokomis, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Aaron Johnson