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Little boy, standing in water: I CHALLENGE YOU, POSEIDON!

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Little girl: Mommy! Mommy! I can see…
MILF, rummaging in beach bag: Calm down, sweetie. Take a deep breath and tell me exactly what you see.
Little girl: I can see… your… bagina.

–Penscola Beach, Florida

Girl #1: There are a lot of boobs here.
Girl #2: Yeah, but they are all 60 years old, fat, and saggy.

–Valencia, Spain

Overheard by: Rolo

Woman: Where are you from?
Twelve-year-old boy: Minnesota.
Woman: Oh, yeah, you have really good cheese there.
Boy: Ummmm…
Woman: Oh, wait. No. That’s Wisconsin. They have really good cheese.
Boy: Yeah. They do. But I’m from Minnesota.

–Virginia Beach

12-year-old boy to boogie boarding pal: You just did a 360! That was so awesome! We should all give you blowjobs for that! Even your brother!
Friend: Dude, you are so gay.

–Monterey Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: Rebecca Anna Smith

Little boy to mom: Don’t touch me! Only Daddy can touch me. [Mom picks boy up.] I’m going to make Daddy spank you right on your bottom!

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Old man: Honey, do you feel better now that I’ve started wearing shorter socks?

–Bethany Beach, Delaware

Dude #1: I wish she would just forgive me already. It’s been over a month.
Dude #2: Dude, you went down on her sister!
Dude #1: Well, yeah, exactly. It’s like the same pussy, right?

–Jacksonville Beach, Florida

Little girl: Who would kick someone else’s kid?!

–The Grotto, Tobermory, Ontario, Canadia

Overheard by: Lorraine

Drunk girl: My goal is to win a wet T-shirt contest so I can win two hundred dollars and get a tattoo… I could never get naked, but I would if I had to.

–Ft. Walton Beach, Florida

Overheard by: If I didn’t have to work the next day, I’d have invited her to party