Guy #1: Look at that girl over there! Now if that isn’t hot, I don’t know what is.
Guy #2: Don’t even dream about it! She’s at least a nine.
Guy #1: Well, then, I’ll just go over and talk to her, and when we start making out, you can cry yourself to sleep.
A guy with a beer walks over and kisses her.
Guy #1: Well played, sir.
–Boardwalk, Jones Beach, New York
Girlfriend: It’s so beautiful here in Cape Cod. Wasn’t David Copperfield set in Cape Cod?
Boyfriend: Wait? You mean like the magician?
–Ferry to Nantucket, Massachusetts
Overheard by: JFN
Girl: In my head I’m like, ‘Have you looked in the mirror, Seinfeld? You look like a fuckin’ beached whale.’ God, I love him.
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Brittney
Drunken man, hitting on woman: Your eyes melt the elastic band in my swim trunks!
–Grand Beach, Manitoba
Overheard by: Tanning @ The beach
Queer to boyfriend: You’d look so hot with a peg leg!
Fire Island Boulevard, Fire Island, New York
Overheard by: Bryan
Tourist guy #1: I never thought you’d look good in Bermuda shorts.
Tourist guy #2: Right.
Tourist guy #1: But you do! You really do!
–Broadsands, South Devon, United Kingdom
Son: These are pretty good.
Dad: Yeah, they’re not bad if you soak them in your mouth like sausage.
–Nauset Light Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rebecca Anna Smith
Teenage girl: I know, he has the most beautiful eyes and this insanely hot body and I'm sad because his girlfriend has this really big forehead!
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: sara swank
Drunk mother #1: I met him at a bar. He looked like George Clooney… But we’ll see.
Drunk mother #2: Wait, aren’t you dating someone?
Drunk mother #1: Not anymore. He just doesn’t know it yet.
–Daytona Beach, Florida
Nagging mother to adult daughter, after sniping at her all afternoon: Your best attribute used to be your personality. But with the life you lead, now it's dead.
Adult daughter's husband, without looking up from newspaper: It's not dead, it's just asleep.
–Maguire's Landing, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: oysterwoman
