Guy: There is nothing worse than having sand in your crotch.
Girl: What about a machete in your crotch?
–Sydney, Australia
Tween #1: Ohmigod. It’s soooo sandy.
Tween #2: Um, it’s a beach.
Random old man: Damn teeny boppers.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: I hate shoobies.
Navy guy #1: Do you have beach shorts?
Gift shop employee: Yeah, over there.
Navy guy #2: This is a small. I think I need a medium.
Navy guy #1: Dude, no. Your dick is small.
–Pensacola Beach, Florida
American girl #1: Does your boyfriend shave his balls?
American girl #2: I didn’t know that men do that.
Nearby British man: Is this what young American girls talk about on their holiday?
–Cassis, France
Dude: That’s why they call me ‘the Titanic.’
Chick: They don’t call you ‘the Titanic.’
–Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: Ana
Woman to girl: These girls are acting like such dogs!
Girl to woman: Well then, meeeeeaoww, bitch!
–Revere Beach, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sheena Quintyne
Cute four-year-old to slightly chubbier four-year-old digging hole in the sand: Whatcha doing?
Chubby four-year-old: You can't play with me.
Cute four-year-old: Oh. (pause) Well, you're fat. (walks away)
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: The Older Sister
Girlfriend: Some of my favorite times are lying on the beach with my head in your lap.
Boyfriend: Yeah, a lot of my favorite times involve your head in my crotch, too.
–The Point, Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Greg P
Little girl to her mother: I spy something pretty!
Teenage girl, looking the mirror: It’s me.
–Public restroom, Atlantic Beach, North Carolina
Guy #1: So, I think I’m going to ask Catherine* to marry me next weekend.
Guy #2: Where you going to get married?
Guy #1: Does a man who’s about to jump off a building worry about where they’ll bury the body?
–Bobcaygeon, Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: Keith
