Comebacks

Girl #1: I don’t know what it is…I just think…
Girl #2: …He’s too nerdy?
Girl #1: No, but I think he might have herpes.

–Long Beach, California

Girl #1: I cannot believe she thinks she can get away with wearing a thong!
Girl #2: Um, I don’t think it’s supposed to be a thong.
Girl #1: You mean her ass ate her bathing suit?

–Point Pleasant, New Jersey

Overheard by: Emily

Tourist: Hey, the water is coming up really high.
Local: Yeah, it’s definitely a high tide today.
Tourist: How come it does that? I mean, what makes the water come up so high?
Local: Well, let’s just say it has a lot to do with the moon.

–Pismo-Oceano Dunes, California

Overheard by: janie

Camp counselor: Hurry up, or you’ll be left behind!
Kid: Then I’d get to stay here. Awesome!
Camp counselor: Frankly, it’s my last day, so I really don’t care.

–Third Beach, Newport, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Bored Beyond the Beach

Woman: Excuse me, is that Catalina?
Man: No, Catalina is over there.
Woman: Oh, well, what island is that?
Man: Um, that’s a ship.

–Palos Verdes, California

Girl to younger boy: You’re going to be a real lady killer when you’re older.
Younger boy: I’ll kill men, too. I don’t care.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Brittney

Guy to Dachshund: Sit!
Girl: He doesn't really need to sit, he is so close to the ground.

–Tampa, Florida

Husband: Let’s take a surfing lesson.
Wife: The water’s too cold.
Husband: We can rent a wet suit.
Wife: That would be like wearing someone else’s condom.

–Cannon Beach, Oregon

Overheard by: macdog

Guy: I just gave birth to a beach ball, and my wrist is sore.
Girl: It must work differently for guys.

–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: Frenchie

Young mother #1: I am just so pissed that I have to wait until Wednesday to find out if I’m pregnant or not. I really want to go out drinking tonight.
Young mother #2: So? I never let that hold me back.
Young mother #1: Yeah, that’s gotta be why little Eric* has a third nipple.

–Sachuest Beach, Newport, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Rebecca