Comebacks

Senior week girl: Why can’t we bring beer bottles on the beach?!
Senior week guy: Seriously… Isn’t sand made of glass anyway?

–Ocean Isle Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Kim Beegle

Guy: Oh, man, I’ve got salt in my penis now. That shit hurts.
Girl: I don’t really think it matters what goes in my vagina.

–Melbourne Beach, Florida

Overheard by: H K

Girl on phone: Did you go to my car yet? (pause) Shit, I wanted you to grab my deodorant. (pause) You have deodorant? (disgusted pause) I'm not going to use deodorant you just scraped off yourself!

–Coney Island, New York

Chick #1: Oh my god, look at that Will*! Isn’t he hot? He’s wearing a sweater, and it’s boiling!
Chick #2: Nah, junkies can’t feel.

–St. Kilda Beach, Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: knee coal

Guy: There is nothing worse than having sand in your crotch.
Girl: What about a machete in your crotch?

–Sydney, Australia

Tween #1: Ohmigod. It’s soooo sandy.
Tween #2: Um, it’s a beach.
Random old man: Damn teeny boppers.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: I hate shoobies.

Navy guy #1: Do you have beach shorts?
Gift shop employee: Yeah, over there.
Navy guy #2: This is a small. I think I need a medium.
Navy guy #1: Dude, no. Your dick is small.

–Pensacola Beach, Florida

American girl #1: Does your boyfriend shave his balls?
American girl #2: I didn’t know that men do that.
Nearby British man: Is this what young American girls talk about on their holiday?

–Cassis, France

Dude: That’s why they call me ‘the Titanic.’
Chick: They don’t call you ‘the Titanic.’

–Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: Ana

Woman to girl: These girls are acting like such dogs!
Girl to woman: Well then, meeeeeaoww, bitch!

–Revere Beach, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sheena Quintyne