Guy: Ouch! This sand is hot.
Girl: Where are your shoes?
Guy: Shoes? You don’t wear shoes on the beach. The sand feels too good to wear shoes.
–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Bill
Guy: Ouch! This sand is hot.
Girl: Where are your shoes?
Guy: Shoes? You don’t wear shoes on the beach. The sand feels too good to wear shoes.
–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Bill
Ghetto chick #1: Yo, girl, I can smell you from here.
Ghetto chick #2: Girl, what you talkin’ ’bout? You better be talkin’ ’bout my lotion.
Ghetto chick #1: No, girl! I’m talkin’ ’bout your pussy.
Ghetto chick #2: You crazy, girl. Tony ate it out last night. Ain’t nothin’ in there to smell!
Ghetto chick #1: Maybe it’s just the nigga’s breath, then.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: karen g.
Teen girl: Do sea lions swim?
Mom: No, they ride boats.
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: just wanted to take a look at SEA LIONS
Girl: I’m so tired.
Boy: Well that’s because you were up all night having sex, and whose fault is that?
Girl: My vagina’s. I can’t control her.
–Bondi Beach, Australia
Overheard by: yellow mushroom
Girlfriend: Why are you all pissed off?
Boyfriend: Some days you don't say shit to me, and then when I'm in a bad mood, you go and say some dumb shit out ya face.
–Coney Island
Overheard by: Dano
Young teen girl: Hey, Mom, Dad told me to ask you, and I’m quoting him, to ‘Please leave a couple of drinks for him before your fat ass hogs them all.’
Mom: Tell your father that he had better be nicer to me or else I’m going to leave his ass for a sexy Latin man named Esteban… again. And you can quote me on that!
–Del Mar, California
Overheard by: Jess the Pirate
Parking lot attendant: Thirty dollars.
Woman: Last time I was here, you charged me five dollars.
Parking lot attendant: I should be charging you the same amount as it is degrees outside. I should be charging you like ninety three dollars.
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: arc, mich
Fat girl, to friend: That tan girl looks better in my bikini than I do.
Random guy walking by: Yeah, she does.
–Traverse City, Michigan
Overheard by: Cari
Big mama in bathroom stall with daughter: Hurry up and pee!
Young girl: Mommy, I can’t pee with other people around!
Big mama: Honey, if and when you go to jail, you gonna hafta pee in front of other people.
–Scarborough Beach, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Riley
Guy: Hey, beautiful ladies! My name is Sean. I run a company that increases the number of hits your website gets on search engines. I’m sure I could help you in your line of work What do you do?
Woman: I’m a neurosurgeon.
Guy: Hey, it’s good to see that even a brain surgeon has time to head out to the beach. Let me show you how my company can help you get more business.
Woman: I’m sure it can’t.
Guy: Well then, how ’bout I just give you my number?
Woman: How about I just give you a lobotomy?
–Nahant Beach, Massachusetts
