Girl #1: My vag hurts.
Girl #2: It’s probably from the jet ski yesterday…or that guy last night.
–Siesta Key, Florida
Overheard by: sadly not that guy
Woman: Where are you from?
Twelve-year-old boy: Minnesota.
Woman: Oh, yeah, you have really good cheese there.
Boy: Ummmm…
Woman: Oh, wait. No. That’s Wisconsin. They have really good cheese.
Boy: Yeah. They do. But I’m from Minnesota.
–Virginia Beach
12-year-old boy to boogie boarding pal: You just did a 360! That was so awesome! We should all give you blowjobs for that! Even your brother!
Friend: Dude, you are so gay.
–Monterey Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Rebecca Anna Smith
Tanned man #1: Look at those fags over there!
Tanned man #2: Which ones?
Tanned man #1: The two over there, sitting with those four hot girls with the fine asses, big tits, and tiny bikinis.
Tanned man #2: Wait. You and I are alone. Those two guys have two girls each. Sounds like we’re the fags.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: D Meyers
Burly guy: One good thing about this trip: at least it ain’t Jersey.
Girlfriend: Jersey’s not that bad!
Burly guy: Easy for you to say, there’s not a warrant out for you there.
–Revere Beach, Revere, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Staying far away from this guy…
Girl with lower standards: I think you should go out with Spook. Yeah, I like him for you.
Girl with higher standards: He’s a drug dealer. Why would I want to date a drug dealer?
Girl with lower standards: He’s not a drug dealer.
Girl with higher standards: He sells me weed all the time.
Girl with lower standards: That’s just his part-time job.
–Cabbage Beach, Paradise Island, Bahamas
Five-year-old urchin: Look how much birds there is.
New York yuppie #1: Um…
New York yuppie #2: Yeah, I hard it too.
–Mini Golf Course, North Wildwod, New Jersey
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Buff guy, after ordering an extra “floater” shot on top of his strawberry daiquiri: Is ordering that gay?
Friend: Not any gayer than drinking a daiquiri.
–Newport Beach, Newport, Rhode Island
Overheard by: ThoseGuys
