Guy: You look really hot in that bikini.
Girl #1: I’m not really in the mood for flirting today so why don’t you just buy me a lemon ice, I’ll pretend I like you, and we’ll both be on our way.
Guy, as he walks away: Bitch.
Girl #2, walking up to her: Wasn’t that your boyfriend?
Girl #1: Yeah. I’m so tired of him being a dick all the time.
Guy comes back with a lemon ice.
–Boardwalk, Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: Batwon
Guy: You look really hot in that bikini.
Girl #1: I’m not really in the mood for flirting today so why don’t you just buy me a lemon ice, I’ll pretend I like you, and we’ll both be on our way.
Guy, as he walks away: Bitch.
Girl #2, walking up to her: Wasn’t that your boyfriend?
Girl #1: Yeah. I’m so tired of him being a dick all the time.
Guy comes back with a lemon ice.
–Boardwalk, Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: Batwon
Annoying woman: That was green before green was really green.
–Santa Monica, California
Sunbathing guy: You know what sucks? Thinking you're more tan than you actually are.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Little surfer kid pointing to large black lady: Look, a whale turd.
–New Symrna, Florida
Navy guy #1: Do you have beach shorts?
Gift shop employee: Yeah, over there.
Navy guy #2: This is a small. I think I need a medium.
Navy guy #1: Dude, no. Your dick is small.
–Pensacola Beach, Florida
Awesome mom #1: Yeah, so they were going to adopt this baby from China, but when they saw her she was ugly and they decided not to get her.
Awesome mom #2: Oh, really? That’s too bad.
–Ferry Beach, Maine
Overheard by: shawshank
Dude: Hey, where do you girls go for fun? [They ignore him.] You’re just gonna ignore me? Not a ‘Fuck you’? Nothing? Bitch!
Chick: You kiss your dick with that mouth?
–Montego Bay, Jamaica
Fat guy to wife who’s sunbathing on her stomach: Wow. You need to shave — you got some wild, stray hairs back there.
Wife: Say it louder, asshole.
–Rosemary Beach, Florida
Overheard by: She’s still hotter than you, pal
