Weirdness

15-year-old to mother and sister: Two for the pink, one for the stink.
Mother, laughing: Who taught you that?
15-year-old: Dad.

–Boat in Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii

Overheard by: Pro Forced Sterilization

Dude #1: Dude, why on earth do you keep fucking her if you think she’s so disgusting? Is her pussy, like, made of gold or something?
Dude #2: No, her pussy’s made of cocaine.

–San Francisco, California

(a convertible full of half-naked frat boys is stopped at a light)
Frat boys in unison: Marijuanamarijuanamarijuana!

–Panama City, Panama

Guy to daughter: Okay, here's one: Oink, oink!
Daughter: That's a pig!
Guy: Cock-a-doodle-do!
Daughter: That's a…morning chicken.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Here4theLaughs

Little girl: Look! I can fit an entire Gatorade cap in my mouth! (demonstrates)
Teenage boy to teenage girl: That girl's going places.

–Long Beach Island, New Jersey

Bimbo #1, happily: It's so thick!
Bimbo #2, wide-eyed: Did you slap it?
Bimbo #1: No, I poked it.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Emmy

Fisherman #1, watching freshly caught ray: What is that?!
Fisherman #2: It's some kind of mutant fish!

–Tip of Steeplechase Pier, Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Liam

Little girl to parents: That octopus has lots of testicles!

–Apollo Bay, Victoria, Australia

40-something woman: Yeah, I cook a lot of chicken. I like it baked or fried, but my husband likes when I jerk it.

–Pompano Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Nastyasha

Shuttle driver over loudspeaker: You can sit anywhere you like, they're all equally uncomfortable.

–Key West, Florida