Preppy girl: So about this swine flu thing… like, who would want to have sex with a pig?
–Melbourne, Australia
Overheard by: Kermit
Preppy girl: So about this swine flu thing… like, who would want to have sex with a pig?
–Melbourne, Australia
Overheard by: Kermit
Hobo: Are you my girlfriend?
Girl walking by: No.
Hobo: I'mma piss on your shoe! I'mma piss on your shoe!
–Santa Monica, California
Kid #1: They put pears in my room. Did they put pears in your room?
Kid #2: Yeah, but they were horrible. They tasted like chocolate.
Kid #3: Do you mean they tasted like chalk?
Kid #2: Yeah.
Kid #1: Wait, how do you know what chalk tastes like?
–British Virgin Islands
Overheard by: A chocolate pear would be nice
Rich stoner: Are you sure the bonfire won’t light the sand on fire?
–The Hamptons, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: og pimp
Redneck, looking at fish tank: How many of them there fish you reckon I could shoot?
–Ripley's Aquarium, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Lost all hope in humanity
Old short man: When was the last time you were with an old and short man?
19-year-old girl: (silence)
–Old Orchard Beach, Maine
Overheard by: Stephanie Wall
Girl to friends on boardwalk: Were you there when that naked guy walked into the shower?!
–Jones Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: BGonz
Chubby man, kicking around the sand: Hey, have you guys seen a set of keys over here?
Asian girl: Um. No. Sorry.
Chubby man: Shit. I must have buried the car keys in the sand on accident. My wife’s gonna kill me.
Asian girl: I haven’t seen any keys, unfortunately.
Chubby man: Hey, do you think the beach has a Lost and Found box anywhere?
–Big Beach, Maui, Hawaii
Overheard by: Responsible Tourist
Mom: What did that lady ask you?
Little girl, wearing “Cerveza With a Smile” shirt: She asked what my shirt said.
Mom: Do you know what it says?
Grandpa: Service with a smile.
–Cedar Point, Ohio
Overheard by: devin the artist
