Girl to boy: Damn, look at those calluses on your hands! Do you masturbate with sandpaper or something?
–Tampa, Florida
Girl to boy: Damn, look at those calluses on your hands! Do you masturbate with sandpaper or something?
–Tampa, Florida
Russian lesbian #1: Oh, look at her! She's hot! What a gorgeous body she has!
Russian lesbian #2: Oh, yeah, she is perfect!
Russian lesbian #1: That's the kind of chick your daughter would go for in a minute.
–Brighton Beach, New York
Overheard by: Little Odessa
Dirty old man to visibly terrified 20-something girl next to him: You know, as of today I am no longer on probation. Yep. You look good in shorts. I'm wearing pants cause I had to go to court today. (stops to make phone call) Hey, it's Steven*! Not on probation anymore! (hangs up without saying goodbye, turns back to girl) Right over there is where I went to school. Ten years old, then I quit. Mom used to have a dry clean right over there. No more. Ya know, over that building's the one my buddy sold and now it's a Hard Rock Cafe. A Hard Rock Cafe! Some years ago I saw Peter, Paul & Mary there. Ya know them? I used to date Mary. Wanted me to go to [unintelligible] with her. Never been there to this day. Been to South America, Africa, all over! Never done go to [unintelligible]. Alright, well, take care! (he gets off bus)
No longer terrified 20-something girl to random girl: He smelled like cocaine!
–Express Bus, Waikiki, Hawaii
Overheard by: mel
Girl #1: And she was like, “Is it too blonde?”
Girl #2: Ah! Like, you can never be too blonde!
Girl #1: Exactly.
–Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: J.J.
Chubby, bald man to female friends: They should really put mirrors on the beach, facing out towards the water, so you can watch yourself in the ocean… No, not mirrors, JumboTrons! I would love to watch myself on a giant tv while I swim!
–Kure Beach, North Carolina
Hobo in wheelchair to boys skating: Bend over!
Boy: If you were tall enough…
–Santa Monica, California
Girl #1: There are a lot of boobs here.
Girl #2: Yeah, but they are all 60 years old, fat, and saggy.
–Valencia, Spain
Overheard by: Rolo
Hairdresser to client: Hey… Um… Remember when I did your hair?
Client: Yeah?
Hairdresser: Wait, you were there, right?
Client: Yeah babe, I was there.
–Venice Beach, California
Old fisherman: Don't be tanglin' your lines up with mine, son!
Younger fisherman: You want a beer?
Old fisherman: I saw a UFO fly right under that bridge one time.
Younger fisherman: You need a haircut.
–Creaky Dock, Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws
10-year-old boy to younger sister: Did you get a tramp stamp?
–Pt. Pleasant, New Jersey
Overheard by: Kim
