Chick: I don’t know why you wanted to come to a nudist beach… It’s all old, gay, wrinkled men here. They’re all staring at me and the water is so cold — you look teeny.
Dude: I know, I should have just had you walk around naked at home.
–Gunnison Beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey
- Posted on January 18, 2024
- Age and ageing, Comebacks, Default, Girls, Gripes, Guys, New Jersey, Size, Weather
Little girl: Look! I can fit an entire Gatorade cap in my mouth! (demonstrates)
Teenage boy to teenage girl: That girl's going places.
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
- Posted on January 18, 2024
- BJs, Body parts, Drinking, Kids, New Jersey, Teens, Weirdness
Underage girl: Oh, my God. Look at that guy. He’s so fucking hot.
Bartender, sarcastically: Oooh, nice. Maybe if you show him your boobs, he’ll buy you a drink?
Underage girl: You think so?
Mom: No way. You’re as flat as a surfboard. If you want that guy to buy you a drink, you’d have to do a lot more than show him your boobs.
–The Seafood Bar, The Breakers, Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: The JAP
- Posted on January 17, 2024
- Advice, Baristas, Comebacks, Compliments, Florida, Girls, Gripes, Moms, Physical Appearance, Rack
Bimbo #1, happily: It's so thick!
Bimbo #2, wide-eyed: Did you slap it?
Bimbo #1: No, I poked it.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Emmy
Mom whispering to little boy: Go in the water where nobody can see.
Little boy digs a hole, fills it with water, and pees.
–Vero Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Nick
- Posted on January 13, 2024
- Florida, Moms, Offers and requests, Pee
Woman #1: You really should have seen this guy's boobs, they were huge.
Woman #2: So he needed a bra?
Man #1: A bro.
Man #2 (with hands on hips, triumphantly): A manzier!
Woman #1: What he needed was some testosterone!
–Hawaii
Overheard by: Festivus for the Rest of Us
- Posted on January 7, 2024
- Clothes, Guys, Hawaii, Health & Hygiene, Physical Appearance, Questions, Rack, Size, Women
A dog is humping a newlywed’s leg.
Mother-in-Law: Oh my God, don’t move. I have to get a picture of that!
Son-in-Law: Um…
Mother-in-Law: Okay, I’ve got the camera. Hump away, Curley!
–Lake Superior
Guy #1: Wait… When are you getting circumcised, bro?
Guy #2: Tomorrow.
–Robert Moses Beach, New York
- Posted on January 7, 2024
- Guys, Health & Hygiene, New York, Questions
Tween girl: Daddy, why aren’t there ever any black people at this beach?
Dad: Well, I’m not sure, but I think they don’t care for water and the sun.
–Carolina Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: Chad
