Bro to another: Tequila out of her nipples, and…
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Ladle
Nature’s mishap: I can’t take off this towel.
Logical friend: Why? You do have something on under that.
Nature’s mishap: Well, no.
Logical friend: What?! What happened to your trunks? You didn’t lose them in the water, did you?
Nature’s mishap: No…they’re just gone.
Logical friend, to another guy: I can’t keep my eye off of John for one minute, can I, without him doing something stupid?
–Long Beach, New York
30-something mom dragging toddler down path: What do you mean your legs hurt? You're four years old! My legs don't even hurt and I'm like three times your age!
–Bay Shore, Long Island, New York
Kid: Yo, that chair’s sweet! How come you get to sit in that big chair? I wanna get one of them.
Lifeguard: Sorry. I just got here really early this morning before all these good chairs were taken.
–Riis Park, Rockaway, New York
Son (looking at man in Speedo): Mom! Look at that man! He's wearing a bikini without a top!
–Long Island, New York
Tween boy #1: Dude, I’m gonna cleave the beaver.
Tween boy #2: When?
Tween boy #1: Tonight.
Tween boy #2: Sweet. You’ll have to tell me how the beaver tastes.
Passerby: Do you even know what a beaver is?
Tween boy #2: Yeah, it’s an animal, stupid.
–Beaver Island State Park, Grand Island, New York
Young woman: I think Grandma’s looking down on us from heaven.
Old lady: I hear that’s a nice place.
Young woman: I’ve been there — it’s awesome!
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Robin M.
Man outside single bathroom door: Wolf breath, what are you doing in there?
Woman, from inside bathroom: What the fuck do you think I'm doing in here? What the fuck do you do in the bathroom?
Man outside bathroom: Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to.
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Lisa Mavinelli
